Sunday, November 18, 2012

Valet Parking And White Gloves

The story you are about to read is true, only the names and most of the details have been changed to protect the guilty; I see no reason to protect the innocent because normally the innocent are simply the bystanders.

It was just a small startup type of business; they sold couches and chairs out of the garage and made a small profit because the quality was decent and the prices were low.

Just a couple of guys who bought a small house and opened a furniture store, it looked more like a yard sale but Ralph and Tuck opened the garage door each morning and dragged the furniture out where everyone could see it.

A couple of years later they seemed to hit on hard times and hung a sign on the garage door, “Going Out Of Business” it was sad to see another Mom and Pop shop or should I say a Pop and Pop shop closing down.

Next thing we knew construction began on the backside of the little house, a large warehouse with a showroom was built, before long a large Grand Opening sign was hung, Ralph and Tuck was back in business.

Then the lot next door was bought and a large parking area was poured, the selections of furniture grew and so did the prices, "Come on down to Ralph and Tucks where you will find the best selection in town!"

The inevitable happened once again, all of a sudden a large “Going Out Of Business” sign was displayed sadly on the side of the warehouse, the furniture prices were slashed to just above a price you could afford and mattresses flew out the door like magic carpets.

The rest of the city block around Ralph and Tucks was leveled, then the warehouse and showroom was demolished, then Ralph and Tucks house went down.

Before long a huge store was built, and as you may have guessed a new furniture store opened, "Come on down to Furniture For You, where you will find the best selection in town!" Do I have to tell you who the owners were?

Now all of a sudden there was valet parking, the price of admission at the door was taken only from serious buyers, you had to take your shoes off to enter, and white gloves were issued.

Don’t even think about sitting on that chair because if you add a butt print it is going home with you, it didn’t take long for Tuck to tell Ralph the sales were down, heck at these prices all we have to do is get one Cowboy to accidentally sit on a recliner then we are set for another year.

The Cowboy didn’t fall for it and the business did fail once again, another Grand Opening event came and went with no valet parking but an upstairs had been added to the building.

About every other year it seemed this place went out of business and reopened bigger and better, the name changed each time but Ralph and Tuck were the only salesmen you ever saw.

I am not sure how this all works but last time we drove through town I think I actually saw a sign that read, “Come on down to Ralph and Tucks annual Going Out Of Business sale”

I didn’t stop because this cowboy is careful where he leaves his butt print.

24 comments:

  1. I have been contemplating a post on this very same phenomonon. But I didn't really have an angle. Now I do not have to do one as you have nailed it.

    Why is it always Furniture Stores that go out of business annually?

    I guess it is like how Airlines never make any money but the stock goes up.

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    1. Hey Joe, I always thought it funny how much they expanded after reopening.

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  2. I had to laugh at the whole story, interesting how one can continue to go out of business yet reopen again with different angles a while later. I also had to laugh with valet parking for a furniture store; wonder if anyone tipped the valets?

    Great story to share!

    betty

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    1. Hi Betty, I can't count how many times these guys actually went out of business over the years, they got a little fancy for the town we lived in at the time which led to another Going Out Of Business sale :)

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  3. How does anyone expect you to buy furniture you can't try out first? Poop on that idea!

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    1. Hi Ms. A, That was the last time we went into their store, when one of them yelled "Don't sit on that chair unless you are buying it"

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  4. The owner of the jewelry store I once managed would hang big signs that said, GOING OUT for your BUSINESS SALE. The words "for your" were intentionally smalll to fool people. it was embarrassing.

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    1. Hi Stephen, Yes those tactics would be embarrassing, I suppose there is nothing technically wrong with it but would most likely make me want to shop elsewhere.

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  5. Hubs (the accountant) told me that closing down sales make more money than if they stay open. That could be how they got enough to reopen bigger and better. Sometimes I wish I had some business sense!

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    1. Hi Valerie, I think it would look better if they word it something like "Inventory Liquidation Sale" if in fact that is the purpose, the same money most likely would be made without giving the impression that the doors are closing forever.

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  6. Great post, Jimmy. We had an oriental rug store here (whose store name was Arabian) that went out of business annually. The building never grew, so I'm not sure they made enough money out of it, but they finally seemed to shut down for good last year after 30 some years of going out of business.

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    1. Thank You Bijoux, I suppose rather than growing the building they were putting the money back for inventory, the last one set them for retirement :)

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  7. Have those two furniture buddies have any realtives in Michigan? They same furinture store, in a little town near us, has gone out of bussiness 4 times, and like in your story the buldings keep getting bigger and better?!
    Amazing! About every two years they higer college kids to stand on the corners with huge sign saying Closeout! Huge Savings! Everything must go!
    By everything must go, I assume they mean the bulding as well, as they always change to another location, same town, just a diffrent address!

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    1. Hi Rachael, You never know as many times as these two have expanded they may now own stores in Michigan too :)

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  8. LOL...we have a furniture store like that, too.

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  9. Ha! I've seen stores like this. Exist for years in either "going out of business" or "grand opening" mode.

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    1. Isn't it funny that some of these seem to last the longest :)

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  10. This reminded me of a furniture store back in New Albany that had a permanent GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sign across their huge window. They were perpetually busy and a main-stay of the town.

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    1. This would have been a good idea for these guys too, maybe something like "Still Going Out Of Business" Ha Ha

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  11. Everyone needs a hobby I guess. Going in and out of business is kind of a hobby, right?

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    1. Hi Daniel, I suppose it could be called a Hobby, and one they really enjoyed evidently.

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  12. Maybe they oughta change the name of the store, and be done with it. Just call it, "Yo-yo Furniture." The whole part about leaving butt prints on the furniture reminds me of an article in last night's paper. Evidently, it's fairly common... and legal... to stroll around parts of San Francisco in the nude. One law was passed a while back that those nudies had to place a piece of cloth on public seating before parking their derrieres. Now, some people out there are getting sick and tired of all those dangling bits hanging out in public all the time, and new laws may be passed regulating when and where it'll be allowed. (Who knew?)

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    1. Hey Susan, I would have to require a bit more than a piece of cloth if it were up to me, not sure I would be shopping or strolling with anything dangling, nudity in my opinion is something that should be kept within a private area.

      Yep Yo-Yo Furniture would be a good name :)

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