Sunday, November 9, 2014

I’m A Bi

It has been nearly six years since my eyesight has changed enough to warrant new glasses, I actually thought my eyesight may be improving because I had been taking my glasses off to read, but at the same time things out of my right eye were not so clear at a distance, so I made myself an eye appointment.

I went to see a new eye doctor who ran me through more tests than I knew existed, and after what seemed like an extended visit sent me out to choose new frames, this is when I had to compliment his tedious and thorough exam, but at the same time question the results.

Hey Doc why do I need trifocal lenses when I take my glasses off to read? His answer was “Because you can’t see without them” but I take my glasses off to read so it appears I can see, I argued.

He sat me back in the chair and flipped the machinery in front of my face, he asked me to read the words in front of me, I read them without any trouble, he then changed the lenses and asked me if I could read the words now, I can’t even see the words I told him, he laughed, the first one was your new reading lenses and the second your old ones, that’s why you were taking your glasses off.
I walked out and ordered my new glasses with the prescription he gave me, Cindy graciously picked out frames that she thought would look good, so the ones I had picked out beforehand were automatically eliminated.

We went to lunch and waited for my new glasses to be built, which reminded me of another lunch date we had with Cindy’s cousin a few years back.

Sitting at Denny’s with Kathy who is a very nice girl, but when she gets excited expresses herself very loudly, not unlike my wife just a bit more animated.

Discussing eyeglasses she looked at me and said, “I see that you don’t have to wear bifocals yet” to which I replied, yes I do they are the no line bifocals, which I think should be called trifocals because you have a reading lens at the bottom, a mid range in the middle, and a long distance view at the top.

“They are still called bifocals Jimmy” she said, then went on to explain how they actually worked, I always love messing with Kathy and most times she takes it well, so I continued with, Hey Kathy don’t you think they should be called trifocals because of the no lines which breaks them up into three, and since there are three views I guess I’m a Tri.

Very loudly, and I say loud enough for everyone in the restaurant, in the kitchen, out on the sidewalk, and especially me sitting right across from her, she said “Hey Jimmy, I’m a Bi”

We just sat and smiled as everyone in the restaurant turned to look at her, Cindy shushed her but Kathy turned sideways in her seat to address the restaurant.

She began to explain to us and everyone around how there was no shame in being a Bi, she was not going to change or hide the fact that she was a Bi, and that she was proud of the fact because since she admitted it and got what she needed everything in her life was so much clearer.

Two women sitting across from us had almost pulled their chairs right up to our table by then, Kathy noticed them and continued the conversation on how much better life was now, I’m glad that I am Bi she concluded.

Cindy was laughing too hard to help the situation, and Kathy’s brother was whispering for her to lower her voice, You are not a Bi Kathy, you don’t know what you are saying, Yes I do she said, yanking off her glasses and holding them out to where everyone could see, look these are bifocals and I have a line that everybody can see, so that makes me a Bi.

After lunch was over we went back to pick up my new glasses, placing them on my face for the first time I thought I would fall flat on the floor, nothing was clear, everything was spinning and I was getting sick to my stomach, I almost had them off my face when I was warned to continue wearing them because my prescription had indeed changed that much.

The next day everything was so much clearer, I was again walking without looking like I was marching in a parade, and now when I read a book my glasses stay on my face, I sometimes take them off out of habit, but they are working just fine, the only problem I have now is that I wonder, Since I have no line Bifocals does this make me a closet Bi?

Do you wear glasses and if so are they Single vision, Bifocals with line or no line, contacts, or none?

29 comments:

  1. i need to make an eye appt to see how bad my eyes have gotten. i only wear glasses for night driving. i resist them like crazy.

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    1. It seems the thing we all do is to resist them, it's funny how much better we see after the eye appointment and never knew just how bad the eyes were, true for me anyway ha ha

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  2. "Since I have no line Bifocals does this make me a closet Bi?"

    Bwhahahahahaha! Jimmy, that was HILARIOUS! In fact, this whole post was. And I can only imagine what everyone else around you in the restaurant was thinking, "This poor girl came out in Denny's!"

    Glad to hear your new glasses are working out well. I only use glasses to read. I'm 150 strength right now. I started needing reading glasses when I hit 45. I can see distance fine, but it's up-close I have trouble with.

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    1. Hey Ron, it was actually hilarious when we were there with her, it never dawned on her until it was too late what she had insinuated, the looks on everyone's faces was worth a million.

      I am doing good with the new glasses even if Cindy did veto the frames I picked ha ha

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  3. I enjoyed Kathy's coming out story. Good for her!
    As for me, I've been straight my whole adult life, but am feeling the pull of the bi lifestyle lately.

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    1. Hey Abby, once the pull of the Bi lifestyle grabs you, all you can do is play along because life does become much clearer then ;)

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  4. I think those tri things are called "Progressives" so that makes you a Democrat.

    I had those tri things, then I had to get new lenses because of cataracts. I got corrective lenses to replace the cloudy cataract lenses which allows me to read without glasses, but I need them for distance, though not as badly as before the new lenses. I hated the progressives, I was always adjusting the angle of my head to get the right view. At least since I always needed glasses, I never lost them. Now I constantly lose my "distance glasses." Even worse I put them up on my head over my hat. Then I take my hat off and the glasses go flying.

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    1. Yes Sir Joe, they are progressives I have been told, wasn't sure that made me a Democrat, I always thought I was a Baptist.

      Oh yes the hat and glasses thing I have also done, have you ever lost them and ended up finding them on your face?

      Thank You Joe, I appreciate you my Friend.

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  5. I have bifocals, but I still take them off when I read.

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    1. Hi Stephen, I do about half the time, and always when I am on the computer, it's really uncomfortable tilting my head back to see the screen with them on.

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  6. Cute story with the "bi". I wear transitional lenses and I definitely need them!

    betty

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    1. Hi Betty, I actually love the transition lenses, wouldn't want anything different to tell you the truth.

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  7. That title will get some hits! I should be a bi, but about 12 years ago, when I got my first glasses, they put one of the bifocals in the wrong location and they made me ill, so I put them away. Quite a while later, I took them to a different location and they showed me what was wrong with them and I had the lens changed... then proceeded to break the frames shortly after. Haven't been back to the eye doctor since. I just wear readers.

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    1. Hi Ms. A, Getting the location wrong on a bifocal will indeed put you off on wearing them, add the breaking frames and I can see why you are sticking to readers.

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  8. They are called Varifocals in the UK... no lines anywhere!! What a hoot. Loved reading this, Jimmy, and may I wish you many years of happy reading. It's so much easier when you can actually see, isn 't it?

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    1. Yes Mam Valerie, being able to see clearly is so much easier, glad you enjoyed our little experience :)

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  9. I'm a progressive transitions, myself. However, I will never understand why I can take off my glasses and read just fine......even with brand new ones.

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    1. Same here Bijoux, I read just as well with or without them, only difference in the new and old ones was I couldn't read anything with the old ha ha

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  10. Progressive lenses here, a Democrat (who can't vote...hahaha), and Lutheran. I need them for reading books, newspapers, and the tiny tiny print on shampoo bottles. And my eye doctor says I need them for driving. So I wear them all day at work and out and about, but when I get home I take them off. I can watch TV and the computer screen without them.

    Ugh...my eye appointment is this month. I hate it when they put that stuff in there that makes you see blurry for hours!

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    1. Ah Yes the old eye dilation fluid, I don't really care for that part either, but at least sometimes they give you dark lenses to help block out the sunshine until the stuff wears off.

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  11. The only time I have to wear glasses is when I want to see. I now wear contacts that allow me to read close up and far out. They took some getting used to, but they work perfectly for me now.

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    1. That is good to hear Rick, I wondered how well those contacts actually worked.

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  12. Next time you're out in public DON'T TALK ABOUT BEING A THESPIAN!

    When my daughter was 17, she announced she wanted to be a thespian. My mom, who thought everything was "bad", answered back "I always knew you'd be a lesbian".

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    1. I can see where that would grab attention especially out in public.

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  13. My eyes are messed up six ways to Sunday. I have some disease that makes my corneas look like a bombed landscape. I can still drive, read and work, its just that if I used old fashion glass lenses that would be so thick I could probably use them to focus killer laser beams.

    So I have rather expensive high-tech plastic lenses and along with contacts. Both have to be specially made, which takes about a month. What does worry me is that this disease is progressive and if things go really bad I'm looking at a cornea transplant.

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  14. Yes adjusting for your eyes would indeed add to the wait time and cost also for your lenses, it's really impressive the plastic lenses that are on the market, I have always worn glass until this time and have not been disappointed so far.

    With your condition I know requires a lot more care and worry, I have been a Type 1 diabetic for the last forty years so my eyes are getting to be a concern, just proud we have the technology for things like the cornea transplantation for when you need it.

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  15. I hate wearing glasses, but alas, I also wear bifocals. I've had them for years now. The worst thing about them, is walking down stairs and catching the next step through the lower part. I've almost fallen down stairs when that happens. Maybe it's just me. Funny post Jimmy!

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    1. Yes sir going down stairs is always a pleasure in bifocals ha ha

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