Der antenna topper

When we lived in New Mexico we spent a lot of our fast food time either at the walk up window, or in the drive through of the local Der Wienerschnitzel. There was no dining area so basically everything you ordered was to go, they did have a few tables for sitting outside but that was about it.

For those who have never heard of Der Wienerschnitzel or Wienerschnitzel as they are known now, I guess Der was too hard to say so they dropped it, they even changed their logo from the big D/W and the name Der Wienerschnitzel to a big red W with Wienerschnitzel across the front but anyways. What I was going to tell you is they claim to have the best hot dogs and chili dogs around, but they do sell other items including Tastee-Freeze ice cream.

This post is not about their history though, it is not even about the restaurant, what we are going to talk about today is the famous hotdog, not the one you eat but the life of the one that was stuck on our van.

Cindy's go to fast food fix is a, "Chili dog no dog", simply because she hated the hotdogs but loved everything else about Wienerschnitzel's chili dog. That is until they started making a chicken corn dog, now that one is so good I even like it, Ok back to the story.

One day when Cindy pulled up to the window to get her chili dog no dog. The girl at the window said, Hey Cindy do you want to get a hot dog today? No, Cindy replied, I never eat the hotdogs. The girl laughed and said, you can't eat this hotdog... And before she could continue Cindy said, I can't eat any of your hotdogs.

The hotdog topper looked like this new.

The girl held out a plastic wrapped hot dog antenna topper, Cindy was in love and snatched him up right away, I installed him on top of the radio antenna on our van. It looked really good until the first time we got on the highway. At highway speeds this hot dog was heavy enough to bend the antenna back towards the windshield. Cindy and the kids thought it was funny, the faster she went the more the antenna bent backwards.

It about scared me to death. I could just see the antenna being ripped from the fender and sailing through the windshield or the passenger window. That hot dog was flopping around all over the place and sometimes pointing straight at me, I really didn't want to be forced into going into the emergency room with a plastic hot dog impaled in my body along with a car antenna impaled into his. I wonder how you would explain that to the insurance company.

On the car insurance form I'd have to claim we were hit head on by a flying hot dog, and the medical claim would be something like, stabbed in right shoulder with a car antenna by a crazed plastic hotdog. The easiest thing to do was to have Cindy pull the van over and slide the hot dog down to the lower end of the antenna, this is what I chose to do.

During this time in our lives we were vacationing in South Carolina one year and California the next. Our vacations were always road trips and Der Antenna Topper always went with us, he didn't cause much trouble and probably traveled one hundred thousand miles on that antenna. The hot dog faded in color but held on tight, a lot of people got a kick out of seeing a hot dog on our antenna, and we got used to having him there.

When we traded vans we didn't have the heart to let him go, so I took him from the old van and installed him on our new van, the kids had grown and they were all driving now, but the hot dog topper was still going along for the ride with Cindy and I.

We almost lost him in Jackson, Tennessee one year, we love stopping in Jackson and were coming out of a restaurant when Tim pointed and said, I wonder what that man is doing over there? I walked up to the guy who had the hot dog slid all the way to the top and was wiggling it around trying to get the hot dog to turn loose of the ball at the top of the antenna.

Can I help you? I asked him. He was a polite devil. He said, No thank you I almost have it. Then he stopped and looked at me. This your van?, He asked. Yes it just happens to be my van, what are you doing messing with it?, Oh sorry I was just admiring your hot dog, he told me. I said, it sure looks like you were trying to take him off my antenna. No sir, No sir that's not it, he said as he jumped in his truck and drove away.

That hot dog navigated another hundred thousand miles with us on the new van, he bravely faced a lot of traffic situations, thunderstorms, bird bombings, car washes, and actually held on tight when one of the kids drove the van.

That is until Tim wrecked his own car, and while it was being repaired Cindy had a lapse in judgement and allowed Tim to drive the van to school. Tim's school was in Grady, NM, about thirty five miles away from our house, and Cindy figured it was easier to let Tim drive the van, than to drive seventy miles twice a day to take him to and from school.

This went well until Tim came home with a crack in the windshield, no side mirror, no antenna, and worst of all No Hot Dog!

It seems there was road construction going on, and one of those pesky signs just jumped out and barely tapped the van, Tim didn't even see it.

Barely tapped the van! And you didn't see it! Where is my Hot Dog?

We actually drove out to Grady and found the only sign that was turned sideways with it's little corner bent and had a black mirror that matched the one from our van lying just past it. But we never found the antenna nor was the hot dog ever seen again.

I can see how Tim missed seeing that sign. You don't really believe that do you? Heck that sign was only about a four foot wide and it was orange for goodness sake, it even had large black letters screaming Road Construction Ahead! I believe that I could have seen that sign with my eyes closed...

I can't believe that we had this hot dog antenna topper travel approximately 200,000 miles from coast to coast on two different vans without flying off, avoided being hotdognapped in Tennessee by holding onto the antenna tighter than the thief could pull, stuck with Cindy through drive throughs, school pick ups and drop offs... you get the idea.

Then halfway into a thirty five mile trip with Tim, the little hot dog breaks free from the van somewhere near Grady, NM and runs away dragging his little antenna behind him.

We did get a new topper, he was the same except for the addition of a red white and blue top hat. But really it never was the same again...