Looking back I remember always being in control of myself, and being comfortable in the fact that I knew where I was going and where I was going to end up in my lifetime. Then all of a sudden I outgrew my teenage years and somewhere along the way I got my brain handed back to me, not exactly sure when that happened or even if it has happened yet, but I have come to realize that things sure look different now than they did then.
Looking back everything was so easy, jobs were easy to find and if I didn’t like what I was doing I could always find another job, yeah-right sounds easy doesn’t it? Actually I had a hand in helping my Mom care for my younger siblings, Mom and I went in together and rented a trailer which she paid rent one week and I the next, she bought groceries one week and I the next, Mom had finally gotten up the nerve to end a bad marriage and I stepped in to help her get on her feet so to say, she wasn’t a bad Mom or anything like that she just needed a little help that she never asked for and I was the oldest, I guess it would have been easy for me to move out and leave her with one less mouth to feed but that wouldn’t have been the right thing to do in my opinion.
Looking back we did pretty well, we had food on the table and the rent was paid, my brother who is a year younger than me got married and moved out so that made it a little easier to meet the grocery bill, one of the hardest things I ever had to do was once while buying groceries I had both my little Sisters with me and the oldest loved these Marshmallow cookies, I promised her she could have a pack and she picked one up, when we got to the register I was so embarrassed standing there counting out the money knowing darn well I didn’t have enough to pay the bill, now with disgusted looks and snide comments coming from the people waiting behind us I had to make the choice of what to put back, heck I was just a teenager at the time and the little sisters were unaware fully of what was going on but the thing that made me feel worst of all was that the marshmallow cookies were one of the things that had to be put back, Sissy never fussed but the look on her face just killed me, next trip to the store those marshmallow cookies were the first thing in the basket and I made sure I had the money for them. I finally moved out when Mom found the Love of her life and began a new chapter with a man who treated her well. The girls both grew up and have families of their own and as you all know I have a good life with Cindy.
Looking back I see a lot of life lessons that teach us simple things like life is not fair and others that teach you life is good because of those lessons showing you that life is not always easy. I really have no point here other than Looking back does no more than remind you of where you came from, to be truly happy you need to look forward because there are better things coming your way, looking back you can’t change anything, but looking forward you can adjust to what you see coming and enjoy what you have now.
Always look forward and plan for new things, look back once in a while to remember but don’t dwell on things that don’t matter, Life is a blessing and if you can live it without worry then your life will be filled with joy, if you let worry consume your thoughts then life will pass you by before you know it.
Looking back I wonder if Sis has any marshmallow cookies in her cookie jar right now?