Ernie Lied

What is a white lie and just how honest is it, how do you determine if it’s really a white lie or something the person telling it really believes, and how do you know if you are listening to the truth or getting your leg pulled so to say.

Talking with the kids always leads us to stretch the truth sometimes, like I did in Warm Worms, I have also mentioned in the past a situation with my son Scott, you know the one where I was telling him everything there is to know about the giant praying mantis he was watching, the praying mantis was sitting on a fence post swaying back and forth, Scott was really cautious because he was afraid it was going to get him, I eased his fears by having him move in a bit closer and told him to watch closely because the praying mantis is getting ready to jump onto the next post, I did mention that this was the biggest praying mantis I have ever seen..Right?

Next thing to happen was the praying mantis swayed widely and jumped, the wings spread and it was beautiful, until it made a sharp left and landed right in the middle of Scott’s chest, Scott immediately screamed at the top of his lungs and began to climb up me like I was a ladder, the mantis bounced off of his chest and landed on the post I had mentioned, now with this said I feel this tale was something I truly believed even though I may not have known everything there is to know about insects, Warm Worms could fall under the White lie rule but this one really wasn’t a lie, especially since the mantis landed right where I said it would.

A time when I lived in Texas, my neighbor Ernie who lived across the street was doing an oil change on his truck, his wife came out and asked if he was planning on changing the oil in her car too, he smiled and assured her that the plan was to do her car next, she went into the house, he turned to me and said “Jimmy you want to ride to the parts house”, we rode into town and bought the oil and filters he needed for his wife’s car with the promise to say we had gone into town for beer, so he wouldn’t look bad for forgetting her car.

Arriving back at his house he told Debbie we had gone for beer and he was doing her oil change now, I stood and watched as he drained the oil and added the new oil filter, Debbie came out to see how the oil change was coming, he told her that the car would be done as soon as he added the new oil, she stayed to watch, first quart in, second quart, Debbie says Ernie, he said just a minute, third quart, Ernie!! Fourth quart in, she says Ernie he says Just a minute Debbie, he is opening the fifth quart and she shouts ERNIE, he replies with a loud WHAT!! She asks why is all that oil on the ground, he looks down and says “nothing to worry about, I am just flushing the oil pan”, she smiled satisfied with the answer and went back into the house, Ernie looks at me and says Jimmy you want to ride to the parts house.

White lie number one was telling her that he had plans to do her oil change next, number two was saying we were going into town for beer rather than the parts he should have already bought, and number three was the oil pan flush story to cover that he had forgotten to replace the drain plug, three times a charm and Ernie lied.

It’s always best to tell the truth, but some situations call for a little fun, telling stories to the kids or grandkids call for stretching the truth a bit, especially when trying to ease their fears or reaching for a laugh, fishing tips sometimes call for this too especially when your wife isn’t with you, a mistake I only made once, but when telling your wife something you are going to do for her, it is best to be completely honest, going to town for oil and saying you went for beer just makes you look foolish especially if she asks for a beer, and flushing the oil pan makes you look really bad when you don’t have enough oil to complete the job.

Just tell the truth, I wouldn’t pull your leg on this one..