What is the meaning of life? Do we have to climb a mountain to ask a wise man for the answer? Or is the actual meaning right before our eyes, or more likely right behind us?
After a lot of thought and discussion, I have come up with an answer, the meaning is quite simple, something that is with us from day one, and something that is part of our lives all the way to the end, If we ignore this then everything stops, and being stopped up is not a good feeling.
The one thing that controls us from start to finish is poop, the meaning of life comes down to this saying, “It’s all about the poop”
We start out as babies, and what is one of the first things our parents look for us to do, some parents are so excited the first time a baby poops, they want everyone to know, they take pictures, make phone calls, and some will even post it on Facebook.
We were in town right after our grandson Benjamin was born, and wouldn’t you know I actually got to hear the proud parents announce, “Hey Granny and Papa look here it’s Benjamin’s first poopy diaper, isn’t that cute” cute wasn’t actually the word I would use, but come to think of it I did have a couch that color.
“Baby Poop Gold” I think that was an actual color back in the day, I have even owned cars that color, I don’t think they started that color but the sun does do strange things to car finishes, and so do birds.
Speaking of cars, I had a friend explain the “It’s all about the poop” theory to me from a mechanics viewpoint, Look at it this way, going to the bathroom is the same as an exhaust system in a car, plug up the exhaust system and the car stops running, plug up your system and everything shuts down.
When you are in the hospital, what is the one thing they want you to do before they will discharge you, how many times have you heard “If you have had a good bowel movement then we will let you go home”, yes as I said before “It’s all about the poop”
I remember going to my Great Grandmothers house for Thanksgiving, one cousin was just a newborn and needless to say still in diapers, the whole family is dressed in their Sunday Best and my Aunt is carrying this cousin balanced on one arm, while she dishes up all the plates for her children with the other.
Hey Granny please pass the gravy, she adds gravy on top of the mashed potatoes and dressing then passes the bowl back, she looks down to see something sliding down her arm to her elbow, she smiles and says “well look what I did” and wipes it off with her finger.
Straight into her mouth thinking she was going to get a little taste of Granny’s gravy, the look on her face said it wasn’t Granny’s gravy, the baby needed a diaper change, and that stain on her blouse was not gravy, right then and there it was all about the poop.
They have yogurt to “Keep You Regular” they sell stimulants that “Doesn’t make you go, just makes it more comfortable to go”, products that will give you a jumpstart if you cant go, and Adult undergarments you can discreetly wear, just in case you do go.
What is the main point of conversation you hear from some elderly people? Hey Jake you know the Doc said I am doing pretty good; I had a really good bowel movement this morning, how about you?
And those adult diapers just goes to show that we come into this world wearing diapers, and if we live long enough we end right back up in them. I wonder if that wise man sitting on top of the mountain is using one of those fancy adult undergarments?
So enough poopy talk for today, just remember the meaning of life is “It’s all about the poop” and my wish for you my friends, is that you live long enough to wear some of those fancy discreet diapers you can go dancing in, I just hope when I am that old that dancing doesn’t show I need one.