Hanging Up My Hat

Opinions are like…

Yes we all have opinions, and I for one have many, some make sense to others and others make sense to only me.

Random thoughts I think are funny but yet there is a serious side to each one, or else they would have never been thought of, my wife on the other hand rolls her eyes and refuses to laugh, I know the reason she is not laughing has to be because she is pondering the seriousness of the statement.

When you are driving down the road looking for an address, do you reach over and turn the volume down on your radio? Does the sound coming from the speakers prevent you from seeing the address? I have caught myself doing this and have found that I am just as lost either way.

And while you are out driving do you talk to the other cars, you know they can’t hear you and if they could would you really say those words?

Riding with my wife she yells at everyone driving slower than us because they are idiots, and then she yells at the idiots who pass us like we are sitting still, I never knew there were so many idiots on the road.

The last guy who passed us was staring and moving his mouth like he was actually talking to us, I didn’t hear a thing but I think he mouthed the word idiot, Cindy just smiled and waved.

At least I think that was a smile, and I’m pretty sure that was a wave.

Now that you have parked the car and are waiting for the light to change so you can enter the crosswalk, how many times do you push that button? You know the button that tells the light to change so you can cross.

And once it does you only get halfway across the road, before you see that little walking guy symbol turn into a flashing hand telling you to stop, I say you should obey and stop right where you are, but everyone continues to run right on across.

Now my question is would they give me a ticket for impeding traffic if I stop right there in the middle of the road? I would in a sense be obeying the traffic signal telling me to “Don’t Walk”

This is why we need crossing guards at each red light rather than the flashing signs that only confuse me, talk about creating jobs, this would work don’t you think.

Getting back to buttons, how many times do you press the button when you are waiting for the elevator? You know if you press it repeatedly at a quick rate that it really doesn’t speed up the elevator?

Neither does pressing harder on the remote with the dead batteries, the TV channel still will not change, stop pounding it on the couch cushion or your leg because it’s time to change the battery.

If you try to fail and succeed, which do you do? This is a serious question because you would think that you have accomplished both, but can you really do this?

An example of both failing and succeeding at the same time is Teflon; nothing sticks to Teflon, right? So anything trying to stick to Teflon has failed to do so, making Teflon a success.

My question is how does the pan keep the Teflon from sliding out of it? Has the pan succeeded in sticking to a non-stick substance, and if this is true does this make Teflon a failure?

I won’t even start on the glue not sticking to the inside of the bottle question because you can see where this is going, I actually tested this with super glue and it took six months for me to hang up my hat.

I’ll stop for now but before I go, I want you to remember: When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Do you have a favorite random thought that makes you laugh every time you hear it?