Farts And Hot Flashes

Going through our recent mattress shopping experience, a possibility for a new product came to me; actually I picked up on a conversation between Cindy and one of the sales people:

Sales Girl: This mattress is very comfortable, it even adjusts to the temperature to help you sleep cooler.

Cindy: So this mattress will keep you cool at night?

Sales Girl: Yes if you sleep hot then this would be the one for you.

Cindy: You are saying if Jimmy is cold and I am hot, it will adjust to our body temperature.

Sales Girl: Not really it adjusts to the room temperature more so than your body.

Cindy: I thought that you were going to tell me that it helped with Hot Flashes.

Sales Girl: If I had a mattress that helped with Hot Flashes I would sell a million.

Now I am thinking, why can’t I invent a mattress that will adjust to your body temperature rather than the room, just think if I am cold my side of the mattress will automatically heat up a bit.

If Cindy is hot then a cooling sensation will flow through the mattress, what if by chance she gets an occasional Hot Flash? The proper solution would be for the mattress to give an occasional cool flash to counteract the Hot Flash.

How about design? We could design anything from Rock Hard to Soft and Fluffy as long as the heating and cooling element works correctly, to heck with a number to sleep by, how about a sleeping temperature.

Now that the idea is there lets talk about the pros and cons, but with this idea there should be all pros and no cons…Right? I like it when there are no questions about my ideas.

I’m going to make a million with my mattress that adjusts to anything you throw at it, when it comes to temperature that is.

I can see it now, my wife is feeling a bit warm and no longer is she throwing off the covers and flopping all over the place trying to cool down, I no longer have to get up and drag the blankets back onto the bed because I am cold.

She is comfortable with the cooling sensation the mattress is giving her; I am comfortable with the warmth of my side of the bed, what could go wrong with this design.

Then a dreaded question came up “What happens if you fart in bed?”

Now I have to work on this one, because if you are sleeping cool and the bed is keeping you warm, all of a sudden you let one slip and get a cool blast to your rear end.

This would kind of defeat the purpose of the bed, especially if the mattress can’t tell the difference between a Fart and a Hot Flash.

Back to the drawing board I suppose, I wonder if adding a “Fart Guard” would be the answer?

Do you have an invention idea that may or may not work?

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