Monday, June 25, 2018

By your own hand

Just my opinion

This post is written without any research whatsoever, it is simply my opinion about a serious situation that we are dealing with, and also one that has absolutely no answers in the end, so bear with me and understand that even if I am not entirely right about some conditions that all of this is just my opinion and how I see things.

Depression is a serious issue, one mostly misunderstood by all of your friends and family because you can hide it so well. At times you can be really suffering inside and no one around you knows that there is a problem, simply because you choose to put on a brave face, smile, nod your head and act like everything is normal.

How can you be so happy when around everyone you love, and at the same time be so unhappy with life, how can you be so organized and meticulous in your job and business dealings and at the same time leave everything that you profess to be so important to you completely alone wondering what actually happened, and why did you think that leaving this world behind was the correct answer to the question.

If you feel depressed and sad and have a problem inside your soul making you miserable, Please Find Someone To Talk To! I know some problems seem minor to everyone but you, and you may feel embarrassed to share these feelings, but by God they are important to you! So ask for help because we will understand.

It is better to talk about how you feel and to share your fears than to allow those feelings to make you so hopeless that you think ending it all is the right answer. Ending it all is never the right answer in my opinion, there are therapists out there who are happy to listen to you and suggest solutions, there are also doctors who can prescribe anti depressants that can and will actually help, but most importantly there are friends and family  members  who love you and simply talking to them can remove a huge weight from your shoulders.

Don't  hide your feelings and if you feel depressed  please reach out for help rather than hide within yourself. Leaving this world by your own choosing, and leaving your loved ones behind wondering why really sucks, this is a selfish act in my opinion and with this said I'm going to stop and hope any of you who need to get something off your chest will see that the act of sharing your feelings is a lot closer to fixing your problems, than killing yourself will ever be.

If you are feeling suicidal please talk to someone rather than pretending to be happy, our daughter is now a widow with no answers because the selfishness of hiding the pain of some unknown demons inside and ending it all was thought to be the right answer.

Sorry to dump this on you but I just had to say it.

38 comments:

  1. I agree with you. There is help out there. Seek it out and talk about it. Leaving your loved ones behind to always wonder why is a terrible thing to do.

    Have a blessed day my friend. ☺

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  2. Oh Jimmy, I am so sorry for your daughter's/your family's loss. I agree with all that you said. Hugs to you.

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    1. This, in a few short sentences, says it all!!

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  3. I heard something recently that was news to me: depression doesn't mean that you are sad. I truly thought sadness was the heart of the issue.

    I had noticed your absence and was hoping you were just busy with summer. Thinking of you and Cindy. XO

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  4. That's so sad, Jimmy. The ones left behind suffer, because of a decision not thought through, and other options not given a chance. My heart is with you and your family. We had a close call with a family member, and counseling and medication has helped.

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  5. Jimmy, I am so very sorry for the pain your daughter and all of you are going through.

    It is hard to understand that someone can feel so bad that ending it all feels like the only option, if you have never felt like that. I think it is also very common for those suffering with depression to feel that those they love would actually be better off without them. It doesn't make sense to us who are left behind, but it is part of the depression. It's part of the illness.

    I wish you all strength as you deal with this terrible loss.

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    1. I would add that even though suicide is caused by the illness, I so agree with you that if a person can find a way to reach out, the illness can take a different course. I wish this had been the case for your loved one and your family. So sorry it wasn't.

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  6. Such a hard time to be going through and yes...talk about it.....get it out....just one understanding comment or smile from another human being can make such a huge difference. My thoughts are with you and your daughter as you try to make snese of all this and restart life.

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  7. I was hoping the long absence from blogging was because you were busy doing fun summer stuff. I echo the others here in offering you virtual hugs and understanding for what your family is going through.

    One of my neighbors committed suicide and left three kids under 12 behind. Even though he left a note to explain, it was still hard on the family to understand and find peace and healing. If there are young children involved with your family, please make sure they into a grief support for children or teens. So sorry for your loss!

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  8. Oh Jimmy. I am so very sorry. Mental illness is a skilled and practised liar. And suicide hurts so many. So very many.

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  9. I'm sorry for your daughter's loss.

    One of the Linkin park guys killed himself and people kept posting "it's not a selfish act"... yeah it pretty much is especially if you have loved ones. Now I can understand those of unsound minds, or those who are in intense physical pain, but it's astounding how many healthy adults do such a thing all the time.

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  10. Wow Jimmy, I haven't been on my blog that much, but I touched on this subject a little just today because I've lost quite a few due to depression. It's a tough topic to discuss, but it definitely needs to be said, again and again. I am so very sorry. Hugs...RO

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  11. First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss in your family. I cannot imagine what it must feel like. When Robin Williams committed suicide, I was so surprised. It made me think a lot about this subject, and how we can let people walking that fine line know that there are so many of us that would lend an ear, a hand, and whatever it takes to help them get through it. I think that one of the key things is that people cut themselves off. They look like they are participating but inside they are playing their own movie.

    Again, I'm so very sad to hear this. I hope your family gets through this tragedy.

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  12. I'm so sorry this has happened in your family Jimmy. (or anyone else's family).

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  13. I have friends struggling with depression. I also read this week that some pain meds for diabetics has a side effect of suicidal thoughts.
    But I really hate to hear about any family havyto deal with this.

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  14. OH Jimmy, sorry to hear this. Prayers are going out to your daughter and the rest of you. Depression is serious and often not seen. People want to help but too often the one depressed seems to be happier than any other so its hard to know. Prayers for peace and understanding.
    Hugs
    Lisa

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  15. I am so sorry Jimmy. I have known two in my life who thought we would be better off without them. The devastation it causes, if they could look that far ahead, they would never do it. Often we don’t even see it coming because they hide it so well. My deepest condolences to your daughter, and to you all.

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  16. It is a shocking and sad illness. We often learn too late the depth of the sorrow. I am very sorry for the loss in your family and the pain it has caused.

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  17. I'm so sorry for your daughter's loss. :( My brother tried to commit suicide years ago. And my younger daughter has bad depression too, so I know how serious this illness is.

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  18. I know, Jimmy, I know. Depression goes deep and there seems no way out of it. I am sorry about your son-in-law and hope he has found the peace that eluded him. My thoughts are with your daughter - and you. God bless you, Jimmy.

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  19. Thanks Everybody, we really appreciate your prayers, kind words, and friendship during this time, I really have very few words right now but want you to know how much we appreciate you, Thank you!

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  20. I'm sorry, Jimmy. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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  21. I'm so sorry for your loss. Suicide ends the pain of the person who chooses that route, but it's the beginning of pain for the people left behind.

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  22. Hey Jimmy, just popping in to send some HUGE cyber hugs your way. RO

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  23. My condolences to the whole family, especially your daughter. That is terrible and so sad. I'm so sorry that this happened.

    Jimmy, you've hit the nail squarely on the head with what you said. It's terrible and very sad that sometimes people are so mired in that dark place, that they can't reach out. Eventually some of them feel like the only way out of it is to leave us.

    I've suffered with bouts of terrible depression myself in the past. I remember feeling totally empty inside. Many days I couldn't find any reason at all to get out of bed, or eat, or talk, or shower, or even open up the blinds. It was like I was just barely treading water, waiting to drown. I'm happy to say that with the help of a certain therapist, I was finally able to "see" the light once again. I've been happy and functional for a long time now, but those were dark days to be sure. I'm sorry if I've said too much. I just wanted people to know how hopeless your son-in-law must have felt.

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  24. I wondered why you hadn't posted for a while now I understand. So sorry and sad for your daughter and your family. What a dreadful shock and how very painful it must all be. I know you're angry but I'm sure to her husband it seemed like the best option for everyone. It's just not that easy to talk sometimes.

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  25. I am very sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.

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  26. Don't be sorry. This is a topic that needs to be discussed repeatedly until depression and all other mental illnesses no longer have a stigma associated with them.

    My heartfelt condolences to your entire family. Suicide leaves such horrible scars on the ones left behind to pick up the pieces and go on with life.

    You're correct about asking for help...speaking up and speaking out. People need to know they aren't alone and that reaching out may be the first step in changing their entire life.

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  27. Hey Jimmy, I'm here to send more hugs to you and your family. RO

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  28. Me too. Jimmy, echoing RO and sending more hugs and healing thoughts your way....

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  29. So sorry to hear about your daughter's tragic loss. And I believe you're right, reaching out and talking to friends and family can be hugely helpful.

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  30. Hey Jimmy, just wanted to pop in to let you know I'm still thinking of you all the time, and sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. RO

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  31. Dear Jimmy, this blog is probably the last thing on your mind right now, and I hope I'm not bugging you, but I'm concerned and praying for you and your family every day. I understand how you feel more than you know, and want to send more hugs your way across these many states. We miss you so much. Many Hugs...RO

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    1. Thank you RO, I am so happy to hear from you and everyone else, you are never a bother and your kind words mean so much to me. We have a lap full of life going on picking up the pieces and being full time caregivers for Cindy's Dad, between the daily care, doctors appointments for both he and I, it appears that I have my blog on the back burner for now. But life does go on and we have actually taken a couple of afternoons just for ourselves recently, so with that said I want you to know everything is ok and as they say God never gives you more than you can handle. Thank you my dear friend I miss you all too.

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    2. Knowing that you are trying to take some much needed time for yourselves makes me feel tons better, and I appreciate your response. I continue to send many prayers and hugs your way!

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  32. I was THRILLED to see you respond to RO. And glad that in the busyness of life you have been able to have a few afternoons for yourself. Hugs.

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  33. I, too, am thrilled to read your response to RO in September, to know that you and Cindy are busy working through all that is on your plate right now.
    I am relieved!

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