OK Here Is The Deal

Telemarketers calling on the phone at all hours it seems, just how do you deal with them? I know they have a job to do but it sure is fun to shut them down when they refuse to take no for an answer. Did you ever get the call offering to come out to your home and give you an estimate for replacement windows, I can’t count the times I have had the exact same call, on one occasion I waited for the girl to take a breath so I could get a word in and let her know I was not interested, she thanked me for my time and started up with how they were only in town for one more day and how I could not afford to pass up this opportunity:

Me: you are only in town for one more day and I really can’t afford to pass up this opportunity you say.

Telemarketer: Yes Sir only one more day and our representatives will be leaving town.

Me: Really!! And exactly where are you?

Telemarketer: I am in Phoenix and where are you?

Me: So if you don’t know where I am, exactly where are your reps at right now?

Telemarketer: Well they are in your town.

Me: How do you know that if you don’t know where I am?

Telemarketer: I know they are in your town that’s why I called you.

Me: If you don’t know where I am then how do you know it’s me?

Telemarketer: I can sell to anyone it doesn’t have to be you.

Me: Then why didn’t you call them then?

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

Now what if I had actually wanted windows? And I got the opportunity to ask her when she called back the next night not realizing she had already hung up on me the night before. After waiting for her to take a breath again I interrupted her with a simple question:

Me: How long will your reps be in Phoenix?

Telemarketer: Just one more day sir----funny you mentioned Phoenix that’s where I am.

Me: I knew that already, and I really want some windows.

Telemarketer: Really how many windows do you have in your house? And how did you know where I was.

Me: I must have talked to you before, and I have about fifteen windows in my house.

Telemarketer: So you need fifteen replacement windows---right?

Me: No I just need a couple added on the side of my garage where there are none now.

Telemarketer: We don’t do that we just replace windows.

Me: My windows work just fine I don’t want them replaced, but I want more, please bring me more, please, you can bring them yourself since you are in Phoenix.

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

Now that was rude to hang up on me twice, I actually like it when they hang up on me though it is so much more rewarding when they run out of things to say before I do and when you get the dial tone you know you have run them out of things to say. How about the one who offers to reduce the rate on your Visa, MasterCard, BankofWhatever Card, MickyMouseClub Card, you get the picture, no matter what you have they can make it better, after refusing to take no thank you for an answer my question for one I thought was easy but my request seemed unreasonable I suppose:

Me: OK since you seem to still be talking I have a question.

Telemarketer: Yes Sir and I have an answer we can greatly reduce the rate on any bankcard you hold by------

Me: Hey wait just a minute you haven’t heard my question yet but you are answering.

Telemarketer: That’s because I have the answer you want.

Me: OK here is the deal; I really want a credit card with low interest rates.

Telemarketer: We can do that, what credit card do you have.

Me: I don’t have one the rates were too high and I couldn’t pay them so they took them all away.

Telemarketer: But you need to have a card for me to help you.

Me: Yes I know, which one are you going to send me.

Telemarketer: We don’t do that we are not a bank.

Me: But you told me you had the answer I wanted, so I want you to send me a card, I have to pay off the other cards and your card would do that so please send me a card, Please!!

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

If you are a telemarketer and talked to me then I am sorry I know you have a job to do but for goodness sake listen to people when they say No because if they say no then that means they don’t want your product, if you are a telemarketer and call during business hours and slow yourself down to a pace where you can be understood with a product I want or need then I just may say something like, “tell me a little about your product” if you continue to babble from the written speech in front of you while I am trying to speak then expect a little fun on my part at your expense or a dial tone depending on my mood, if you are going to treat people like they are stupid then expect them to act like they are, if you can take no for an answer then you can spend your time on people who just may want your product rather than wasting your time with people who will never buy from you anyway.