Saturday, September 25, 2010

Coffee Sounds Good

Back in 74 Harry Chapin sang the Cat’s In The Cradle and I always thought this was a good but sad song at the same time, the words spell out the life of a man who was so busy that his son was grown before he knew it, life had sort of passed him by so to say because of his busy lifestyle, and his son was now the father. This has happened to so many people but for others they lost touch due to their own actions or choices to simply walk away, and more than you know have lost touch even though they were actually there.

♪ My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you ♫

Some of us have grown up hard and fast and Lord knows we have all made mistakes, but growing up and having kids does not come with an instruction manual, it’s kind of hard to look back and wish you had spent more time with your kids or done things differently, even though you know in your heart that you did the best you could at the time. Kids grow up and are directed into a path of their own and there is nothing to be done that will change the things that happened in the past and even harder to change things that didn’t happen, a lot of accusations are made at times and for those who make accusations it is good to be truthful, for those who were wronged by a bad parent or anyone else stand your ground and don’t allow yourself to be a victim.

♫ My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him" ♪

You play with your kids and teach them the lessons you learned growing up and hope they become more successful than you ever were, you pray that they are happy with the career field they choose and the spouse they end up with, kids are a blessing and as they grow they can hurt you when they make fun of you or say things like “I will never do the things you have done” or “yes I’d like to hang around but I have things to do”, “stay in the car while I go in the store I don’t want you to embarrass me” or one of the worse is “You were never there for me, why do I need you now”, no matter how hateful they are you still love them no matter what and you are proud of them no matter how they treat you, you just pray for the time they grow up and have a little time for you.

♪ Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?" ♫

My kids have all done good with the decisions they have made, I am a lot closer to some of the kids than others as you all can see, the reasons some of you know, and for those who don’t it really doesn’t matter because there is nothing to be done that can change it. I know everyone has a plan for their lives and will do just like I did when I was growing and learning how to deal with life, growing up and dealing with life is to simply learn from folks who have been there and learn from your mistakes because contrary to popular belief there are none of us who are perfect, and we all do make mistakes. Also contrary to popular belief all of us descend from our ancestors no matter what name you choose to carry and no matter what you do those family traits shine through in your looks and actions, you may not think so but for most of us we look like our parents and it has always occurred to me that my boys are a whole lot like me, especially in their looks and mannerisms.

♫ I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me ♪

So next time you see your parents in town take time to visit with them if you can find it in your heart, for those who live close to your parents take time to give them a visit and listen to what they have to say, if you have had a falling out with one of your children find a way around it if possible and take them out for a cup of coffee to talk it over, some of us are estranged from loved ones for reasons we can’t control and there is no fixing some of the things that have happened for a lot of people, but if there is any possibility of making amends with someone you love make that attempt rather than being rude and holding a grudge so to say over things that can be let go, if things can be hashed out over a cup of coffee and the offer has been made then it is worth a try because if you don’t it will be too late one day when they are gone and looking in the mirror you see their face looking back at you, making you wish you had taken them up on that cup of coffee.

♪ And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then Dad
You know we'll have a good time then ♫

15 comments:

  1. A great post, my man. Every time I hear that song I get goosebumps...it is so poignant that I used to feel that way even BEFORE I became a dad.
    Keep up the good work.

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  2. Thank You Joe,

    I always liked this one and like you it always hit somewhere deep inside way before I had kids, even more so now.

    I appreciate you my Friend.

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  3. That is one of Sean's favorite songs. I put it on a CD for him for his car. It took me a long time to realize that there is no right or wrong way to parent. We all make the choices we feel are right and do the best we can at the time. No one among us is without mistakes or a few regrets. No sense holding grudges.

    Well said, my friend. Well said.

    ♥Spot

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  4. Amen Spot, I agree that there is no right or wron way to parent as we all are learning as we go, my problem is those who feel they have the right to judge, none of us were placed on this earth to judge.

    Thank You my Friend.

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  5. I was very young when I first heard this song, and it moved me then as it still does today. It has been sometime since I last heard it, although a cover of it was done by Ugly Kid Joe a good few years ago now. Then I looked up the original version.
    Very sad, very moving, but so very true.
    Big hugs to you both!

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  6. Oh Jimmy, my friend....what a WONDERFUL post!

    I love how you wove your thoughts and feelings in between the verses. Awesome!

    Yes, I remember listening to this song waaaaaaaaay back in 74' when I graduated from HS and moved to NYC. I don't think the words really sunk in until I was a bit older and REALLY listened to them. Such a DEEP song with an amazing lesson.

    Thanks for sharing, buddy. This is something we need to be reminded of.

    Hope you had a super last week!

    Say Hi to Cindy for me!

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  7. Hi, saw your comments on Alice in Wonderland.

    I remember when this song came out. Whenever it came on the radio, my dad would either change the station or turn it off. Something about it bothered him, and I never asked why. I don't know if it "hit home" with him about his children, or his relationship with his dad. My dad was a difficult man to bond with. He was very demanding and a strict disciplinarian. I grew up quite afraid of him. Funny thing is that we are closer now than we ever were. I guess age mellows you out. Either way, I'm happy that I spent a lot of time with my own children as they were growing up, and we have strong bonds because of it.

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  8. Loved this post, Jimmy! I have a sister who spends a lot of her time and energy being bitter about the past and what for? It doesn't do anybody any good. Let it go. I know my parents did the best they could at the time. I have been acutely aware of the power that my actions can have on my kids and have always sought to frame all of those actions in love.

    Thanks for this rich and wonderful post, Jimmy.

    P.S. How is Betty?

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  9. Awesome post Jimmy. Love the song, love the post, love YOU! Thanks for the reminder.

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  10. Hey Alice, This one has always moved me and in my opinion Chapin did it so well.

    Hugs right back to you my Friend.

    Ron, Now it’s not like 74 was that far back is it? Ha Ha this statement just put another song in my head to go over :^)

    This one does seem to hit a little deeper as we get older and for a lot of people this lesson is learned way too late in life.

    Thank You for your kind words Buddy.

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  11. Hey Matty, I am proud to have you come over to visit and look forward to seeing more of you.

    Kind of hard to say why it hit your Dad like this but it is one that stirs up deep emotions, I am proud to see you getting to spend time with him now and isn’t the strong bonds with your kids a blessing, I like you am proud of the close bonds with some and long for that same bond with others.

    Betty, I am with you, there is nothing that can be done about past actions and letting it go and moving on is the best if it can be done, Parenting is a job we learn as we go and as long as our Parents were not abusers or criminal minded types then we should be able to look over anything that was not actually harmful to us.

    Thank You I am proud you enjoyed the post…Little Betty is still the smallest of the bunch but doing well and becoming as spoiled as the rest :^)

    Thank You Peg, I am honored my Dear Friend.

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  12. That song ALWAYS gets to me...it's pretty but brings tears to my eyes.

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  13. Yes Suzi, This one will be around for a long time.

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  14. Nice post Jimmy. This song always hit me pretty hard. I couldn't relate to it at all, but I wanted to...

    I always made sure I was available for my kids. I found out later that a parent can also be overly available. Oh well, we buy our tickets and we take our chances. I sure wish I knew back then what I know now...

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  15. "I sure wish I knew back then what I know now..." Amen Pat I can sure relate to this statement.

    Thank You Sir.

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