Monday, July 25, 2011

Retaliation Or Forgiveness

Retaliation or forgiveness, which is the best way to handle life’s struggles? In a perfect world we would always be able to forgive, so why can’t we have a perfect world.

Sad to say our society thrives on retaliation, if we are wronged we have to give paybacks, if someone cuts you off on the highway what is the first thing you do:

1. Give them the finger

2. Chase them down and cut them off

3. Give them the finger and cut them off

4. Say to yourself Bless their heart they must be in a hurry, or better yet ignore the situation and forgive that person for their rudeness.

Most of us would go for the first three and very few would ignore it and offer forgiveness, but how much better would this old world be if we could go for number four every once in a while.

Serious wrongs are harder to forgive, say a family who has lost a child at the hands of a stranger, a loved one murdered never to be seen again, can you forgive the person who took your loved ones life? Or do you make plans to retaliate against this person? most of us would say something like I’d kill the bastard, but if you were really in that situation could you actually lower yourself to their level and could you actually forgive?

Serious wrongs like this I have seen people actually offer forgiveness to the offender, and I have also been guilty of holding a grudge but doing this only harms you, planning revenge in your head doesn’t fix anything and acting out in a negative manner will only get you in more trouble than you need.

I know it is not easy but we have to offer forgiveness if only for ourselves and our well being, I’m not saying to let this person off the hook but to leave it in Gods hands and the authorities, retaliating only continues the cycle and will keep you feeling miserable for the rest of your life.

If you can only let it go so to say, whether you actually offer forgiveness or not you have to make peace within your heart and not dwell on what you think should happen, make peace with yourself and give it to God because doing otherwise will only make things worse.

Try to forgive those who have wronged you, most of the wrongs we remember and harp on for years really don’t matter:

He loosened the nuts on my bicycle tire and the wheel fell off while I was showing off to my friends, I like to killed myself, I was so embarrassed, I’ll always hate him for that, and just wait till I get a chance to pay him back someday (actually a true story)

Did I ever pay him back..nope, am I harping on it..Nope, well maybe, no not really but my point is, are things like this worth worrying about, things that can’t be changed we have to let go and offer forgiveness, if only in our heart.

Retaliation is dragging our society down, forgiveness for things large and small will go a long way in making our lives a bit easier. Try to forgive just one person today for something small and see how much better you feel, we can add more as the days go, just think in a years time maybe we can smile and wave with more than one finger when that next car cuts us off, “Bless their heart”

18 comments:

  1. yes most of us would opt for any of the 1st 3 or maybe all the 3... its human nature that we get angry on little things... the world would be a better place if we were to forgive and forget :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. First three, yes. Fourth, Hmmm! I remember the father 'forgiving' the terrorist who killed his daughter. I could never go that far. When someone cuts me up or speeds dangerously by,I mutter 'Oh well, I'll probably see him wrapped round a lamp post'

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes sir! Forgiveness for another is the greatest present for ourselves and our world!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The day I started to actually breathe....was the day I forgave my biggest enemy.
    It's so very true...we have choices. We just need to choose right.
    Have a great new week Jimmy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have forgiven family for serious incidents but you can't ever forget. Still I'm glad I have that ability to forgive. Not everyone can do it. Life's to short to be bitter.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Excellent post topic, Jimmy!

    And one that's good for me to hear because naturally I would react 1-3.

    "Serious wrongs are harder to forgive, say a family who has lost a child at the hands of a stranger, a loved one murdered never to be seen again..."

    Exactly! And when I sometimes see how these people are able to forgive, I'm ashamed of myself for not forgiving something ridiculously small like someone butting in front of me in line.

    "things that can’t be changed we have to let go and offer forgiveness, if only in our heart."

    I agree...if only for our own heart.

    Try to forgive just one person today for something small and see how much better you feel, we can add more as the days go, just think in a years time maybe we can smile and wave with more than one finger when that next car cuts us off, “Bless their heart”

    Okay, I'll try! And thanks for sharing this, buddy! Have a great Monday!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is something I really struggle with and need to work on. Whether I'm able to forgive, or not, I would love to be able to just let things go. I greatly admire people who can.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Muhammad, You are right in that the world would be a much better place if we are able to forgive, especially the small stuff that we allow numbers one through three to take over :^)

    Hey Valerie, I also think back on the Amish community a few years back that offered forgiveness to the family of the man who shot ten young schoolgirls killing five, rather than making his family feel like outsiders they all came together to help everyone get over this tragedy, this kind of forgiveness is rare and one I respect.

    Amen Betty, “Forgiveness for another is the greatest present for ourselves and our world!” you are so right my dear friend.

    Hey Dawn, Making the right choice is not an easy thing and like you I noticed a big difference once I learned to let some things go by offering forgiveness to one I thought I could never forgive, I proud of you for finding this for yourself also.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Barb, I agree with you “Life's to short to be bitter” and like you I know that offering forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, we should always remember or else fall victim once again but at the same time we do have to forgive the ones who wronged us just the same, a hard balancing act in my opinion.

    Hey Ron, I thing reacting in a retaliatory/ defensive manner is natural for most of us, learning to let things go especially the small stuff is something we all have to work on, easier for some than others though, the big things is another story and once we learn how to deal with these, everything else will fall right into place.

    As long as you are trying then you are breaking the cycle of hate my friend, I’m proud to at least see you try than to give me the finger :^)

    A Great week to you Buddy!!

    Hey Ms. A, That is exactly where you start, you begin to let some of the things go and stop worrying about them, once you do this then forgiveness will come much easier, as with Ron if you are at least struggling with it then you are trying and I admire you for this my Dear Friend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I learned the hard way. While on the freeway someone recklessly cut me off. Of course up came my middle finger and a few foul words. Well, he slammed on his brakes and I nearly rear ended him. Then to top it off, this guy pulls out a 9mm pistol and aims it at me as if he is going to kill me...wow! was I scared.
    This was a hard lesson but it taught me to control the anger and give the benefit of doubt to those who carelessly endanger us.

    ReplyDelete
  11. i believe you can forgive but you never truly forget

    ReplyDelete
  12. Desertson, In this situation I agree that you have to turn your head as long as your life or anyone elses is not in danger then let it go, getting into an altercation with people like this is not worth it.

    I too would have been scared out of my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey Becca, Forgiving we can do and forgetting is not an option, just because we forgive does not mean we forget the action nor allow a repeat offense.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I usually make a snarkastic comment (often the person can't actually hear me). I do not hold grudges because there is no point. I'm the only one that harms. And I truly believe in karma. The payback is not mine to give, that right belongs to a higher power.

    My kids always say I'm too forgiving. I hope they learn this flaw.

    ♥Spot

    ReplyDelete
  15. Strange as this sounds, we have hardly any traffic here.....everyone knows everyone else, and our little town has a by-pass. So, we just usually wave and go on our way!

    Hugs to you both!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Great post~ I TRY to forgive and forget. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I'm a work in progress.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey Spot, I agree in that there is no point in holding grudges, a "Snarcastic" comment under your breath hurts no one so I see no problem there.

    Emily, that is a blessing of a rural town that is something I prefer and appreciate about the town we live in, I love people just not all in one place :^)

    Hey Peg, I think we are all a work in progress and as long as we try to do the right thing it will happen, Thank You my Dear Friend

    ReplyDelete

I am glad you stopped by, feel free to join in, tell me what you think, or just say Hi, thank you for commenting.