Friday, October 12, 2012

Dad Said A Bad Word

I love telling stories about my family and my Dad is one I most likely have a million about. My wife, Cindy, and he have had a few practical jokes bounce between them over the years. When she and I were first married, they started giving each other a hard time even though they had never met face to face. They had been talking on the phone since we married about who was better than the other and which one was going to “Get” the other first.

We were living in New Mexico at the time and took a trip to South Carolina so Cindy could meet everyone. Just as we were driving into the town my Dad lives, he calls to see if we were close. Cindy tells him we are somewhere in North Carolina. We were actually on his street, She hands me the phone begging me to play along.

We are now sitting in his driveway and I find myself saying that we had some car trouble in Cherokee, NC, and we were going to need some repairs once we got there. This was not actually a lie as the rotors were warped and we were planning a brake job the next day.

While I am talking to him, Cindy goes to the door and knocks. I see her go inside while I am still talking. My Dad was sitting on the back door steps and Cindy is going through the house begging everyone to keep quiet. I want you to know that at this point she had not met anyone face to face. She goes out the back door and leans down to my Dad’s ear and whispers “Can I Talk To Jimmy.” I hear the phone fall and realize that my call had suddenly been dropped.

My Step Mom says that he turned to look at Cindy as she leaned close and said “Gotcha.” He replied, “I’m gonna kick your a$$” for the next couple hours. This was all the man could say. Anytime anyone said anything he looked at Cindy and said, “I’m gonna kick your a$$.”

We planned to take the kids to Six Flags Over Georgia in Atlanta, Dad thought this was a good idea and said he would like to go along. On the way we made a plan to pick one of the Roller Coasters, and for everyone to ride at the same time.

The lineup was that I would ride with Tim because he was pretty small and I could protect him, Melissa would ride with Randy because they were both tough and could protect each other, and Cindy would ride with Dad so he too would be protected.

“The Georgia Cyclone” was the choice. We were all excited to ride this old wooden roller coaster, and the ride was quite intense as it about beat me to death. This was just on the initial climb before we were released to suffer/enjoy the thrill that is “The Georgia Cyclone.”

Our daughter Melissa said we were exaggerating how rough it was while we stood in line for the pictures, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words and those pictures showed the skin on our faces stretched all the way around to the back of our heads so I feel we were not exaggerating.

My Dad suggested going home and headed toward the parking lot. This was only our first ride and Cindy goes after him with the promise that the next ride will be slower. We will ride one where we can all sit back and relax. A slow ride down the river just to recuperate from the roller coaster she tells him and also promises that he “shouldn’t get too wet.” I see you are thinking that he should have known better right there.

“Thunder River” was the choice she made. You know the ride with the large tube where the seats all face inward. Half of the seats are wet and the other half are not, so Dad picks himself the dry seat and grins, as Cindy and I have to sit in a wet one.

The ride started off calm until we hit the rapids. A big splash of water went right over both Cindy’s and my head hitting Dad right square in the face, and here comes the line he made us familiar with earlier “I’m going to kick your a$$.” Cindy, through her laughter, tells him it’s a fluke and he shouldn’t get any wetter than he is now.

OK, now we are hitting the rapids, and when he missed the next drenching, he is smiling. The river slows to a relaxing pace and he is trying his best to get the water off of his glasses from the first splash. All of a sudden, there is a rock formation with water flowing over it. We are now looking at a small waterfall. Dad is eyeing this and breaks into a grin as Cindy and I are traveling backwards right towards it. He is almost laughing at this point.

Then his whole expression changed as the tube stops and makes a 180 placing the water falling right on top of his head. Sad thing is he was still wiping his glasses when the tube emerged out of the waterfall. He never looked up and you know exactly what he said. Yes, Dad said a bad word, and this was the last theme park trip he made with us, and to this day we get the same answer when we invite him to come along “I’m gonna kick your a$$.”


Submitted to the Dude Write Starting Lineup

32 comments:

  1. I might have survived the initial surprise meeting that started it all, but I don't think (as an adult) I would have survived those rides enough to kick anybodies a$$!

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    1. Hey Ms.A, That initial surprise meeting was the start if it all indeed, they are still at it going on sixteen years later Ha Ha, I always loved those rides but not so sure about my survival rate now :)

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  2. Me thinks your Dad likes Cindy a lot!

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    1. Hi Joe, I think you are right Sir, although he still has the same line for her every time they talk.

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  3. I can't do those roller coasters...I'm askeered...

    So where did your folks live in South Carolina? Maybe I know them... ;-)

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    1. Being askeered just makes them more exciting :^0 but having to bring a change of pants makes it worthwhile to skip them.

      I was born and raised up in Pickens County, not too far from Greenville.

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    2. We lived in Lexington for seven years. My oldest son lives in Greenville now. Small world!

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    3. We were actually living in Greenville when I graduated High School, it sure has grown since then.

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  4. "My Step Mom says that he turned to look at Cindy as she leaned close and said “Gotcha.” He replied, “I’m gonna kick your *&#” for the next couple hours."

    HILARIOUS, Jimmy!!!!! Tell Cindy, I think she ROCKS!!!!!!

    OMG...looking at the photo of "Georgia Cyclone" made my hands sweat! I'm such a chicken when it comes to roller coaster rides, so there is no way I could have gone on that thing! However, "Thunder River" I could do. I love water rides.

    Funny post, buddy!

    Wishing you and Cindy an awesome weekend!

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    1. Hey Ron, I don't think I would ever go on that one again, I was not kidding when I said it about beat me to death on the initial climb, even at that it was a lot of fun.

      Thunder River now I could ride that one all day :)

      I think Cindy strives to see how quick she can get him riled up Ha Ha

      A Good weekend to you too Buddy

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  5. Funny post. I enjoyed reading it a lot. But I promise if we ever meet I won't kick your A$$.

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    1. Hey Stephen, That is sure good to know, I'd sure hate to meet up with you only to get my a$$ kicked Ha Ha

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  6. I love the relationship your wife has with your dad; sounds like a good one; I wish I had had the same with my FIL. But I have to say, there is no way I would have gotten on that roller coaster, family or not. The water ride, yes, the roller coast, NO WAY!!

    hope you enjoy your weekend!

    betty

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    1. Hi Betty, They actually have a better relationship than he lets on at times Ha Ha, not sure if we will ever be on a roller coaster again but the water rides are always on the list :)

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  7. Roller coasters are a no-no for me, maybe I could have coped with the water ride when I was younger. Cindy sounds like she's heaps of fun, you lucky man. Loved this post, it made me feel light-hearted.

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    1. Valerie, We always have a ball no matter where we go, haven't been to a theme park in a while but I have a feeling once the Grandson gets a little taller it will happen.

      Happy that you enjoyed the post my dear Friend.

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  8. He SAYS "I'm gonna kick your ass", but what he MEANS is "Cindy, you've passed the test! Also, I'm gonna kick your ass"!

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    1. Daniel, I think you have the code figured out, and also the meaning behind the code Ha Ha

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  9. Not sure if my comment went through........
    But I think that is just hilarious! And oh, ouch to the wood coasters. :-)

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    1. Hey Angelia, I think the consensus is that the wooden coasters beat us all to death, I was afraid it was just me :)

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  10. I'm deathly afraid of heights and also sharks, but I love a good roller-coaster. Always have. It sounds like you Dad and Cindy have a fun relationship. Reminds me of my Dad. You could always tell if he liked you because he would pick on your and play jokes on you.

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    1. That about describes my Dad Michael, if he is picking on you then he likes you, Cindy and he really enjoy the picking, it is entertaining just to sit back and watch them.

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  11. I love your stories, Jimmy. Your whole family sounds like so much fun!

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    1. Thank You Bijoux, I appreciate you my Friend.

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  12. HA! Cindy's in-laws are way more fun than mine!

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    1. Hey Abby, It's even more fun when we get them together with her Ha Ha

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  13. This sounds like a long battle down the road.

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    1. Hey Kevin, You are correct as it has been exactly that Ha Ha

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  14. The Six Flags near me has a wooden roller coaster named "Cyclone" as well. Those wooden roller coasters cetainly do a number on you. I don't think I've ever left one without a few bruises. And I'm all to familiar with those river rides, so I won't get started on them.

    Anyway, sounds like Cindy sure knows how to make excellent first impression!

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    1. Welcome Chiz, That roller coaster I remember being there when I was younger, I think beating you to death is a quality of all the old wooden coasters, the river rides do you a lot less harm.

      Cindy really made an impression with my family, in a good way that is.

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  15. I like the fact that your wife had the balls, so to speak, to go through the house of people she had never met to complete this prank. That's excellent!

    Unfortunately, I can't do roller coasters. The have a knack for relieving me of my lunch.

    Great story, Jimmy.

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    1. Thank You Ken, She said that her fear was getting herself killed, she just kept heading toward the back of the house toward his voice, I think they had figured out who she was or else she would have never made it that far.

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