Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Pulling The Plug

Samantha moved into our lives last Christmas, she came to us wrapped with promises and knowledge that impressed everyone, she actually made life easier for a while, but on a long trip having two women in a car together can be either amusing or scary depending on where you are sitting.

Last month when we drove out to see the kids it was decided that Samantha would go along, it just made no sense to leave her behind, so I worked for a couple of days, more likely a couple of hours, making sure she was ready for the trip.

Right away I could see the amusement that was coming, we were not even a mile down the road and Cindy was already disagreeing with Samantha about which way we would go, Samantha was quick with instructions, and had a sort of sixth sense about what was up ahead.

Driving through Albuquerque, NM of all places Cindy got into traffic and took a turn we didn’t need, Samantha perked right up to tell Cindy she needed to turn around, about halfway into the turn Samantha changed her mind and told Cindy to go straight ahead and take the next left.

Central Ave. in my opinion is a street you want to avoid at all costs in Albuquerque, especially at night, during the day not so bad, but at this point in the late evening Samantha was suggesting that we turn left onto Central, Cindy shouted “Oh Hell No” and went past Central looking for a place to safely turn around, Samantha shouted in a stern voice “Take The Next Left”

Cindy was not happy with all the talk while she was driving, but went ahead and made the left, Samantha now said that Cindy should make a U-Turn and turn right, which would put us right back to where we started, Cindy just glared at me and said, “She is just messing with me now”

We got back on the interstate where we wanted to be and Samantha seemed to fall asleep for a while, until Cindy took an exit to get out of the car for a break, Samantha did not like this and sternly instructed that we should make a U-Turn, Cindy looked straight at Samantha and yelled “I am stopping for a coke, is that all right with you”

Samantha’s next response was for Cindy to take the next left then make a U-Turn, Cindy was getting hot about this time and turned right into the truck stop parking lot, Samantha got just a bit louder and in an angry voice said, “Make a U-Turn then turn left and continue for one half mile”

Cindy said “I am stopping for a Coke” followed by Samantha’s insistence that we make a U-Turn, Cindy leans over and looks directly at Samantha and yelled, “I am getting out of this car for a minute, I don’t care what you think you *#$%*” and Samantha repeated again the we should turn around.

I had to step in at this point in spite of laughing so hard at the situation, I told Cindy, First you need to straighten up and watch the road, and second do you realize that you are arguing with a machine, this is when Cindy reached down and unplugged our GPS, Samantha was now quite for a while.
I told her, you probably shouldn’t have done that because she is really going to be mad at you now, Cindy replied what can she do, give me bad directions? She is just messing with me you know; I laughed and reminded her again it is just a machine.

When we got back on the interstate both Cindy and Samantha were quite, I played with the functions on our GPS changing the car symbol from a sedan to a hot rod, and while there I looked at the voice options, we had Portuguese, French, and Hispanic to go along with the English we were using.

While Cindy was paying attention to the road I selected Paulina to take over for Samantha, and when we got close to our next exit Paulina came to life with instructions in fluent Spanish, Cindy looked at Paulina and said “What the hell?” I told her, “See I told you Samantha was mad at you”.

Because of this exchange we missed our exit and Paulina said something like “Usted necesita hacer una vuelta en U” I think that means to make a U-Turn, this is when Cindy reached over and pulled the plug.

26 comments:

  1. We pulled the plug on ours also. Not even the pleasant and elegant female British voice made her bearable.

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    1. Hey Stephen I am thinking about switching over to one of the male voices to see if it will cut down on the arguments Ha Ha, most likely the best bet will be turning the voice off.

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  2. We were directed to take an exit off I-95 west which led to a windey country road where we traveled at maybe 35 mph. 18 miles later we were directed to take a left turn on to rt, I-95 west. Tom Tom is now in a ditch somewhere off a country road just before an entrance to I-95 west.

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    1. Yes Sir Joe it seems they do get mixed up on the directions at times, I hate it when the directions seem to go in a big circle, no wonder TomTom is lying in a ditch.

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  3. I KNEW Samantha was a GPS right from the start. I dropped Stud off at the Tampa airport last year and by listening to the GPS, I ended up in a part of Florida I didn't know existed. When Stud landed at the airport in Kentucky, (TWO HOURS LATER) he called to let me know.....and I was STILL trying to find my way home.

    WORSE day of sightseeing I've ever experienced.

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    1. I didn't hide that fact too well did I Ha Ha, hid it about as good as the directions you got it seems, it would have been OK had you wanted to find some area you had never seen but when you are just wanting to get back home--Sigh

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  4. I think Cindy and I would get along famously.......

    My husband refuses to get one. He prefers to use a ream of paper to print out google maps. Not exaggerating.

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    1. We have been down the road with the google maps, I can say that the GPS has gotten us there with ease more times than not, tell Hubby it is worth a try in getting one.

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    2. My husband couldn't figure out the on-board navigation system so I printed some Mapquest directions out for him. He said he didn't need them. He is a map person. He gets lost alot.

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    3. Hey MC without the GPS I use either google or mapquest when going into unfamiliar territory, the GPS is still new to us so to say but actually has been helpful

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  5. A couple of years ago, I had company from Germany and gave them my GPS thingie. They wanted to listen to the directions in German, so they switched it a male German voice. The one with the Bavarian accent.

    Then they left and my husband and I used our GPS again. "Holy cow," my husband said, "that's Arnold Schwarzenegger!"

    Well, it wasn't, but a Bavarian accent and an Austrian accent are very much alike - it did sound like Ahnold was telling us to "heng on rite!"

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    1. Oh Lordy I can just imagine if ours sounded like Ahnold, I keep telling Cindy that we need Foghorn Leghorn I think, I think, are you listinin ta me boy, I think ya need ta turn right back there, but yet we would most likely be lost a bit more.

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  6. I take my little companion when we're going someplace unfamiliar, but absolutely utilize the mute option! My voice is quite enough for one car.

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    1. Hey Ms. A, Ours has actually done us more good than harm, I just thought this one leg of the trip was hilarious, Cindy didn't though :) yes we are going to have to turn the voice off all together next time.

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  7. Jimmy, this post was absolutely PRICELESS!!!!

    "“I am getting out of this car for a minute, I don’t care what you think you *#$%*”

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    Please tell Cindy that she and I would get along brilliantly because I would have reacted the exact same way! Actually, I would have probably ripped the GPS off the dashboard and shoved it into the glove box!

    The thing that really CREEPS me out about those things are that the voices sound so mechanical, like a robot. It's like they're creepily cheery, but at the same time sound menacing.

    GREAT post, buddy!

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    1. Hey Ron, "Please tell Cindy that she and I would get along brilliantly because I would have reacted the exact same way" I think she already has this much figured out Ha Ha

      Another funny thing I forgot to add is when giving the GPS voice commands the way it interprets my voice as compared to Cindy's is so different, I can give one address and it wont even get me into the correct state, Cindy can say the same thing and get it correct in the first attempt--go figure :)

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  8. Brilliant. I honestly didn't guess who Samantha was.

    Cindy would love my GPS. I can't remember the guy's name but he's got the sexiest voice I ever heard. Who cares if he tells me wrong....grins. One of my friends positively swoons when she hears his voice.

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    1. Hi Valerie, Cindy just grinned when I told her what you said, I have a feeling she just may retire Samantha's voice :)

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  9. Fun post! And I love the idea of a Foghorn Leghorn voice for one of those gadgets. Or Elmer Fudd. That'd be totally hysterical.

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    1. Susan if I could find a Foghorn Leghorn voice I would put it on there just for kicks Ha Ha

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  10. I agree with Cindy. Samantha's a *#$%*. If I ever get a talking GPS, it will be a man speaking to me in French, and I don't even speak French.

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    1. Hey Abby, We actually had a French dudes voice for a while, I think Cindy would go for that one to replace Samantha, and like you we don't speak French Ha Ha

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  11. lol I litterally laughed out loud if someone had been awake while I was reading this blog they would have been starring at me with their what the heck is up with you face.

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    1. Hey Amanda, It's good to have a laugh out loud moment once in a while, makes others wonder what you are up to for sure :)

      Good to see you my Friend

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  12. Lol! Too funny. Maybe a nice European accent would have made Cindy be more responsive to instructions. :-)

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    1. You never know Angelia that just may be the answer Ha Ha

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