Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Meaning Of Life

What is the meaning of life? Do we have to climb a mountain to ask a wise man for the answer? Or is the actual meaning right before our eyes, or more likely right behind us?

After a lot of thought and discussion, I have come up with an answer, the meaning is quite simple, something that is with us from day one, and something that is part of our lives all the way to the end, If we ignore this then everything stops, and being stopped up is not a good feeling.

The one thing that controls us from start to finish is poop, the meaning of life comes down to this saying, “It’s all about the poop”

We start out as babies, and what is one of the first things our parents look for us to do, some parents are so excited the first time a baby poops, they want everyone to know, they take pictures, make phone calls, and some will even post it on Facebook.

We were in town right after our grandson Benjamin was born, and wouldn’t you know I actually got to hear the proud parents announce, “Hey Granny and Papa look here it’s Benjamin’s first poopy diaper, isn’t that cute” cute wasn’t actually the word I would use, but come to think of it I did have a couch that color.

“Baby Poop Gold” I think that was an actual color back in the day, I have even owned cars that color, I don’t think they started that color but the sun does do strange things to car finishes, and so do birds.

Speaking of cars, I had a friend explain the “It’s all about the poop” theory to me from a mechanics viewpoint, Look at it this way, going to the bathroom is the same as an exhaust system in a car, plug up the exhaust system and the car stops running, plug up your system and everything shuts down.

When you are in the hospital, what is the one thing they want you to do before they will discharge you, how many times have you heard “If you have had a good bowel movement then we will let you go home”, yes as I said before “It’s all about the poop”

I remember going to my Great Grandmothers house for Thanksgiving, one cousin was just a newborn and needless to say still in diapers, the whole family is dressed in their Sunday Best and my Aunt is carrying this cousin balanced on one arm, while she dishes up all the plates for her children with the other.

Hey Granny please pass the gravy, she adds gravy on top of the mashed potatoes and dressing then passes the bowl back, she looks down to see something sliding down her arm to her elbow, she smiles and says “well look what I did” and wipes it off with her finger.

Straight into her mouth thinking she was going to get a little taste of Granny’s gravy, the look on her face said it wasn’t Granny’s gravy, the baby needed a diaper change, and that stain on her blouse was not gravy, right then and there it was all about the poop.

They have yogurt to “Keep You Regular” they sell stimulants that “Doesn’t make you go, just makes it more comfortable to go”, products that will give you a jumpstart if you cant go, and Adult undergarments you can discreetly wear, just in case you do go.

What is the main point of conversation you hear from some elderly people? Hey Jake you know the Doc said I am doing pretty good; I had a really good bowel movement this morning, how about you?

And those adult diapers just goes to show that we come into this world wearing diapers, and if we live long enough we end right back up in them. I wonder if that wise man sitting on top of the mountain is using one of those fancy adult undergarments?

So enough poopy talk for today, just remember the meaning of life is “It’s all about the poop” and my wish for you my friends, is that you live long enough to wear some of those fancy discreet diapers you can go dancing in, I just hope when I am that old that dancing doesn’t show I need one.

30 comments:

  1. THere is a reason poop stinks, but early baby poop is oderless and could explain your Aunts mistake. At least it is a Thanksgiving you will never forget.

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    1. I was pretty young when that happened but can remember the look on her face like it was yesterday.

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    2. My anatomy teacher told us the reason for the stink. Apparently these microorganisms in your body do a great job, but they never take showers :p

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    3. Hi Adam, Now that could be the exact reason for the smell Ha Ha

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  2. I can't believe you posted a topic that is something my family laughs at me for talking about! Any day with poop is a GOOD DAY! (and if you don't believe me... just go a few days without)

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it Ms. A, you are so right go a few days without it and you will be be wishing for it.

      Somebody has to bring the quality posts and sometimes the dirty one Ha Ha

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  3. "the look on her face said it wasn’t Granny’s gravy, the baby needed a diaper change, and that stain on her blouse was not gravy, right then and there it was all about the poop."

    Bwahahahahahahahahaha! I DYING LAUGHING, JIMMY! That was PRICLESS!!!!

    I love this post because it's sooooooooooooo true! Life is all about the POOP!

    "And those adult diapers just goes to show that we come into this world wearing diapers, and if we live long enough we end right back up in them. I wonder if that wise man sitting on top of the mountain is using one of those fancy adult undergarments?"

    BRILLIANT finish!!!!

    Thanks for the great laughs, buddy. Both hilarious and very insightful!

    P.S. okay, I gotta go do a poop now.

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    1. Ron I still laugh every time I remember this day, the look on her face when she realized what she had just done Ha Ha

      Glad you enjoyed it Buddy, I'll let you go now because I'd sure hate to be the cause of..well you know Ha Ha

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  4. Thanks for the quality post. No taboos constipating the Internet.

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    1. Hey Stephen, Some of us have to step up and keep the Internet from becoming constipated :)

      Hey Man I sure enjoyed your post today, That picture was really nice

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  5. This was either the most insane or enlightening thing I've read all day. I still don't know which.

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    1. Welcome DWei, Insane or enlightening I am glad you enjoyed it, let me know if you make a decision which it is :^)

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  6. Heehee what goes in must come out. Hilarious post, Jimmy. Adult diapers? Oh man, I must look out for some of those just in case I ever need them.

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    1. Hey Valerie, It just may be a good idea to stock up now, as for me I plan to live that long, long enough to pay back the kids for their actions growing up Ha Ha

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  7. Poop happens! I've always liked that saying!

    That was a very disturbing story about granny though! Bahahaha

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    1. Yes Bijoux, It was disturbing at first but it is sure funny now, to this day she still doesn't like to talk about it Ha Ha

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  8. Assuming you're right, I know a LOT of people who need a good poop! It's probably a great "attitude readjustment" experience. :)

    S

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    1. Yes Sir, This could just be the answer for a lot of folks, sitting down for a good poop I can see readjusting the old attitude :)

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  9. I don't think my neighbors in god's waiting room (Florida) have had a good poop in years. I was thinking they had a stick up their butts, but thanks to you, I now know better.

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    1. Most likely not a stick as we now know that would just stop them up, although an attitude readjustment as mentioned above may be all they need.

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  10. Ooops, you just reminded me - I forgot to drink my prune juice today... :-p

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    1. Glad I could be of help today Ha Ha

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  11. Jimmy, I forgot how much you crack me up! Actually, my kids are on me constantly because I make a big deal out of checking my dogs' poop every day. It's the first sign of something being "off" or wrong. And I know it sounds crazy but I believe I'm right So I totally go along with your rationale in this post!

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    1. Hey Linda, Good to see you, you are right this is an indicator of something wrong, so you are not out of line for checking your dogs poop, if not this the kids will just give us a hard time about something else :)

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  12. making the rounds late tonight but am I ever so glad that I stopped by...poop, good Lord, is nothing sacred anymore!! Your poor Aunt, at least she has a story to pass down for.ever. Good post, and thanks for your input on my last one, I think I ruffled a few feathers but I was well intentioned. Enjoy your day...gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.

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    1. Hey Joanne, I am glad you stopped by my Friend, it appears nothing is sacred anymore, sometimes it's simply all about the poop Ha Ha

      It's rather easy to ruffle feathers at times, I am afraid I am going to do it with my next post but you know how it is, I have an opinion and like to share.

      I wont hold you any longer, so after you go please come back :)

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  13. So, if somebody says you're "full of poop", that's a GOOD thing, right? I gotta say, I've blogged about flatulence before, but you've got me beat. Your post is much more ... "solid." (Fun post!)

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    1. Hey Susan, Sometimes you feel better after a good solid post Ha Ha, I read your blog and I wouldn't say I have you beat :)

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  14. It really is all about the poop...some days more than others; remember this comment is coming from a daycare provider, lol! Oh, I could have done without the Thanksgiving story because you know I'll be thinking about this post when someone passes the gravy!

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    1. Hey SC, Yes as a daycare provider you will be smiling when the gravy is passed Ha Ha

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