Thursday, November 8, 2012

Hanging Up My Hat

Opinions are like…

Yes we all have opinions, and I for one have many, some make sense to others and others make sense to only me.

Random thoughts I think are funny but yet there is a serious side to each one, or else they would have never been thought of, my wife on the other hand rolls her eyes and refuses to laugh, I know the reason she is not laughing has to be because she is pondering the seriousness of the statement.

When you are driving down the road looking for an address, do you reach over and turn the volume down on your radio? Does the sound coming from the speakers prevent you from seeing the address? I have caught myself doing this and have found that I am just as lost either way.

And while you are out driving do you talk to the other cars, you know they can’t hear you and if they could would you really say those words?

Riding with my wife she yells at everyone driving slower than us because they are idiots, and then she yells at the idiots who pass us like we are sitting still, I never knew there were so many idiots on the road.

The last guy who passed us was staring and moving his mouth like he was actually talking to us, I didn’t hear a thing but I think he mouthed the word idiot, Cindy just smiled and waved.

At least I think that was a smile, and I’m pretty sure that was a wave.

Now that you have parked the car and are waiting for the light to change so you can enter the crosswalk, how many times do you push that button? You know the button that tells the light to change so you can cross.

And once it does you only get halfway across the road, before you see that little walking guy symbol turn into a flashing hand telling you to stop, I say you should obey and stop right where you are, but everyone continues to run right on across.

Now my question is would they give me a ticket for impeding traffic if I stop right there in the middle of the road? I would in a sense be obeying the traffic signal telling me to “Don’t Walk”

This is why we need crossing guards at each red light rather than the flashing signs that only confuse me, talk about creating jobs, this would work don’t you think.

Getting back to buttons, how many times do you press the button when you are waiting for the elevator? You know if you press it repeatedly at a quick rate that it really doesn’t speed up the elevator?

Neither does pressing harder on the remote with the dead batteries, the TV channel still will not change, stop pounding it on the couch cushion or your leg because it’s time to change the battery.

If you try to fail and succeed, which do you do? This is a serious question because you would think that you have accomplished both, but can you really do this?

An example of both failing and succeeding at the same time is Teflon; nothing sticks to Teflon, right? So anything trying to stick to Teflon has failed to do so, making Teflon a success.

My question is how does the pan keep the Teflon from sliding out of it? Has the pan succeeded in sticking to a non-stick substance, and if this is true does this make Teflon a failure?

I won’t even start on the glue not sticking to the inside of the bottle question because you can see where this is going, I actually tested this with super glue and it took six months for me to hang up my hat.
I’ll stop for now but before I go, I want you to remember: When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Do you have a favorite random thought that makes you laugh every time you hear it?

24 comments:

  1. I do think of those sorts of questions from time to time, but I can't think of one right now!~

    You aren't leaving again, are you?

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    1. No Mam I am not going anywhere, was just trying to do a fun post :)

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  2. Since you asked... I've always wished I had an air horn in my car instead of the feeble "tweet! tweet!" It's a large SUV but when someone is forcing themselves into my lane as if I'm not there, my feeble "tweet" sound does not get the reaction I'd see if I was in an 18 wheeler.

    Joe was just mentioning today that I have a habit of yelling "RIGHT FOOT GAS!" when people in front of me sit at a green light.

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    1. Yes an air horn would definitely get their attention, I bet you could get one and put the "tweet tweet" to rest :)

      Cindy does almost the same thing as you, she yells "Gas is on the right", so I see you both have the same thought process going here Ha Ha

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  3. I've always wondered how a thermos keeps things both warm AND cold? I don't talk to other cars when I drive but I'm an easily distracted driver; I get honked at a lot. You get used to it.

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    1. The thermos question is a good one, now I have a new one to ponder :)

      Like you I get in no hurry driving, if they honk or want to pass more power to them, my wife is another story though.

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  4. "Getting back to buttons, how many times do you press the button when you are waiting for the elevator?"

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! OMG, Jimmy...I just DID that this afternoon while waiting for the elevator to come to my floor in my apartment building, I kid you not!

    Also....

    "When you are driving down the road looking for an address, do you reach over and turn the volume down on your radio?"

    YES! I did that too when I used to have a car and drove. It's like I can't listen to music and concentrate on thinking at the same time - HA!

    My random thought...

    Why is Peter Pan a girl?

    Fun post, Jimmy!

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    1. Hey Ron, Cindy about beats the buttons on both the traffic lights and elevator to death every time we go to the Doctor, I just stand back and grin because this way she doesn't beat on me Ha Ha

      Yes that is a good question, how is it that Peter Pan is a girl?

      Good to see you Buddy!

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  5. My hubby used to be a pleasant driver and I enjoyed riding with him. Now, not so much. He's impatient and has problems with every other car on the road. Plus, if by some small chance we happen to be talking, he forgets where he's going!

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    1. Hey Ms. A, I wonder if he may be kin to my wife Ha Ha

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  6. My random thought for the day....?

    Why is a wise guy the opposite of a wise man?

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    1. "Why is a wise guy the opposite of a wise man?"

      I like that one :)

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  7. I had to laugh about tapping on the remote control with the dead batteries trying to get it to work; I found myself doing that at the gym this morning with the machine I was on; it was turning on and I'm just thumping all the buttons trying to tet it to work; it never would start but looking back my thumping on those buttons certainly was futile.

    betty

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    1. Hey Betty, Isn't it funny that we always beat on the buttons or pound the item when the batteries get low, sometimes it works though Ha Ha

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  8. Oh sorry for the delay here. I was just over by the sink trying to get the teflon to slip out of the pan. I even banged it on the remote but....nope. Will try again tomorrow.

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    1. Hey MC, If you keep trying it should work because in face it is not supposed to stick to anything :)

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  9. Do you shake your mouse to get a page to load faster? Do you??

    I used to work in a lab where we would disassemble machines. Some parts were on tighter than others. As I was struggling one day, a coworker told me "swear at it". It worked.

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    1. Hi Abby, Yes you are right, I didn't even realize this but I have caught myself shaking the mouse Ha Ha

      Have you heard the statement, "It didn't work because you weren't holding your mouth right" I supposed this goes along with the swear at it option.

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  10. Have you been peeking in my house, Jimmy, just to see which of us (hubs and me) repeatedly press the buttons and which one talks to TV actors as if they can actually hear. And in case your wondering. we both talk to other drivers in a language only drivers understand AND urge lifts to come by leaning on the push-buttons....grins.

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    1. Hi Valerie, Yes talking to the TV is another I didn't think about but yet find ourselves doing Ha Ha

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  11. I'm not much for pushing buttons multiple times, but I do have a "drinking problem". As in, I pick up an empty glass and turn it up maybe half a dozen times before I finally acknowledge that I have to actually get up off my derriere and refill the darned thing if I want to get anything more out of it. Each time, I'll laugh and say, "Yup, still empty." Fun post.

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    1. Hey Susan, At least you are making sure the glass is completely empty :) you really don't want to make a wasted trip if it is not.

      Good to see you my Friend.

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  12. What if birds are chirping and singing because they're actually scared of heights and every time they make a noise they're actually calling for help?

    I love that one.

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    1. Hi DWei, Good to see you, I have never thought about that one Ha Ha now that would be something if this were the case.

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