Divorce, now this is a hard subject and one many of us have been through, there are always reasons, sometimes good and others bad, but for the sake of this post I don't want to point fingers, there is always enough blame to go around, with that said, you really can survive divorce.
I loaded up the back of my truck with my clothes, tool boxes, a few rifles that I had accumulated over the years, the plates and silverware that we used for camping, and my stereo from the garage.
I walked into the empty two bedroom apartment that I rented, and hung my clothes into the upstairs bedroom closet, I had simply lifted them out of the closet, hangers and all so this exchange was pretty easy, sad thing was everything else I had went right into this same closet.
I locked the door and began a walk of about three miles to the house that I used to live in to pick up my motorcycle, sitting on the floor with my stereo installed on one side of the room, and me on the other with a fast food bag and a fountain coke, listening to music echo throughout the empty space until morning.
I continued living like this, sleeping on the floor and slowly adding bits and pieces of yard sale furniture, until I actually got the place furnished and the echo went away, I began cooking a few meals but found it easier to go down to a local restaurant, Kripple Creek for supper, this way I was at least talking to someone.
I really didn't know what to do, I didn't want to see anyone and I sure didn't want to discuss my feelings, I sat around by myself at night and just listened to music until morning, I was hardly sleeping and about the only time I was eating was when I went down to Kripple Creek, "Get on with your life Jimmy" was about the only words of encouragement I got.
I was walking through the front office of the utility company where I worked when I heard my name called, it was a friend that had gone through a divorce herself the year prior, she said "hey Jimmy, we are going out dancing tonight, why don't you join us" I said that I would think about it, but not wanting to be a third wheel I never went.
Baseball season had started and I found myself going to watch my boys play, I never sat in the stands it was easier for me to stand to the back and watch, I could see both fields this way, Tim the son of a friend would stand with me when he wasn't playing, I always liked this kid.
When the game was over I walked Tim back to where his mom was sitting in the stands, look who I found I said as I walked up, she laughed and said yeah I saw him hanging out with you, at least I knew he wasn't getting into trouble, "Hey Jimmy, we are going to grab a bite to eat after this, why don't you join us"
I never showed up, but continued going to the games and watching them with my friend Tim, until one night when I walked him back to his mom, with a concerned look on her face Cindy looked at me and asked, how are you doing Jimmy?
She asked if I was seeing anybody to which I said no, I asked who she was dating only to find out she was with no one whatsoever......
My life started over when she handed me the slip of paper with her number on it.
It took me nearly a year to realize the love of my life was actually there all along, it's hard not to withdraw into yourself and to take the blame for everything, being lonely and depressed was my biggest enemy, it was like I was the only person going through this, when in reality had I simply accepted the offer to go dancing a half year earlier, would I have noticed how similar our lives really were.
Twenty years later, I am glad she gave me her number.