Not really, but seriously.

I actually was considering doing a video, Vlog, hitting the big time with my own reality/sitcom TV series. Not really, but seriously I did discuss with Cindy that she and I should get together and do a video. "You know to play for all of the many hundreds of my adoring fans who want me to do something like this" OK maybe I over sold a couple of suggestions that I may or may not have gotten.

She thought it was a good idea at first and asked. What would we talk about? I want you to know that we were riding in the car at the time, so she was a captive audience whether she wanted to be or not.

Off the top of my head I broke into a completely made up story, well not completely made up, just twisted in a couple of spots. I said, how about the time we went to the races a couple of years ago?

I remember driving out to the track for the first time ever. We had never been to this track and had tickets to the Sunday race; we also had a ticket where we both could meet my favorite driver. The only problem was this meeting was scheduled for Saturday.

The tickets to see my favorite driver were valid, but my track tickets were for Sunday not Saturday. This didn't matter to the guy taking the tickets, and whether the tickets to see the driver were valid or not we still had to get inside the gate, he said that it didn't matter how many times I showed him that ticket, I still didn't have a track ticket for Saturday, it cost me another forty bucks to win this argument and my way past the gate.

We found the tent where the big meeting was to be, we found a couple of people standing behind the tent that looked like they knew what they were doing, so we walked up and stood beside them, which was good because they were first and second in line, this put Cindy and I third and fourth.

The driver appeared and number one marched in, I was going over everything I was going to say in my head when number two went in, next it was my turn I walked up to the driver shook his hand, started to say something, when someone yelled smile and I saw a flash of light, I turned to see our picture had been taken, a picture of the driver smiling at the camera, and me with my head turned and my mouth open. "Next" someone yelled. But I wanted an autograph I said.

My autographed hat.

My driver smiled and took the hat off my head, signed it, and then placed it back on my head saying there you go bud. I had a sharpie marker in hand and was reaching for his hat when security lead me to the exit, hell I figure if he signed my hat I should return the favor...

Cindy said No No No, I don't like that story, and that didn't really happen at the autograph session, I know but this is what you call "Satire" I thought it might be funny. He did slap my hat back on my head like that!

No I don't like how that sounds, Cindy tells me.

Ok, I say. How about the time we were in Santa Fe on our honeymoon?

When you and I found that fancy steak house.

Cindy ordered Prime Rib for herself and had been telling me how good prime rib was, I decided to try it and hate to admit but it tasted like boiled meat to me, I was not impressed and that was the last time I ever had it.

In the meantime while we were waiting on the boiled meat our prime rib entrees, Cindy was listening to me ramble on about everything under the sun, you know back in the days when you ladies actually listened to us guys. She got a refill on her tea and asked me for a packet of sugar. I had one in my hand that I had been reading.

I handed it to her and said. Here try this one; she glanced at it and asked, “What is this?” I proceeded to tell her the story about where this sugar was from, how the cane was specifically grown, the unique harvesting procedures, and all the other history behind it, things like the date it was introduced, how it got it's special color and everything else I could remember.

She looked at me and said, Wow how do you know things like this? I smiled and pointed to the package and said, I read it on that package, she looked at me and said, I thought you were smart there for a minute...

Cindy and I shortly after our marriage in 1997

She laughed and said I remember that, I really did think you were smart.

But this doesn't sound good either Jimmy.

Ok I have a story about Little Johnny, where I can fold notebook paper and tell the story at the same time; you have seen that one...

Jimmy! She said. Yes Cindy what is it? You are a doofus, she said. Yes I replied we have already been through this, I even wrote a post where you called me a doofus...

That's what I'm trying to tell you, keep writing, but please don't do a video.

You write a whole lot better than you talk...