Dancing with dogs

You always hear stories about dogs and their interactions with the mailman, the postman rings twice but is then seen being chased down the walkway by Fido.

I know dogs have an aversion to postal workers, but from experience I can attest to the fact that Meter Readers are right there at the top of the list also, in fact anyone who is wearing a uniform shirt with their name over one pocket and the company name they work for over the other is fair game for dogs.

Fido lies in the front yard sleeping with his buddies until an opportunity arises. With one eye open Fido tells Fluffy, hey look it's Ole Jimmy from the Water company coming down the sidewalk, just keep quiet and watch this. Fido quietly creeps across the grass and hides next to a shrub that sits next to the water meter box, and just as Jimmy is kneeling down to read the meter in the ground.

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Fido gives a low growl and jumps against the fencing right above Jimmy's head, barking furiously. Jimmy falls backwards dropping everything in his hands. Fluffy joins into the barking frenzy, Jimmy composes himself and reads the meter visibly shaken, as Jimmy walks away, Fido and Fluffy high five one another and laugh their little doggie laughs, and go back to lie in wait for their next victim, possibly the mailman.

I always got along with most animals that I ever came into contact with, but some animals, especially dogs can trick you into their little game.

When I first went to work for the water company, I read meters in the morning and drove around town passing out reminder notices in the afternoon. My first lesson on dealing with dogs came while I was still being trained.

Fred was training me, and we pulled up in front of a house that had a reminder notice due, I had three options, knock on the door and give the notice to the person, hang the notice on the doorknob if no one was at home, or hang the notice on the gate if you couldn't gain access to the yard. Just hang it on the gate, Fred tells me. It looks like they are home, I said. Yes but there are dogs in the yard, Fred replies. I see that, but look how friendly they are.

I opened the gate and two medium sized dogs ran up to me, one was carrying a ball and dropped it in front of me, I threw the ball and patted the other dog on the head, I knocked on the door and ended up hanging the notice on the doorknob.

Walking back down the steps with two dogs bouncing around you is a trick, but throw a ball bouncing at your feet into the mix. I threw the ball several times for the dog while making my way back down the walkway, when I got to the gate I told my new friends that I had to go and grabbed the gate handle to go out. This is when the ball was dropped and both dogs bared their teeth.

I was instantly attacked and the bottom portion of the denim jean material on my right leg was literally ripped off as I fought to pull my leg through the gate, I had to use the gate to keep the dogs inside while I was trying to get out.

I got back to the truck and said to Fred. Man did you see what those dogs did? He said, yeah I saw it, next time I tell you to hang it on the gate I guess you will do it.

After this whenever I approached a customers closed gate with a dog in the yard, I simply hung the notice on the gate and went about my business.

On one such occasion as I approached the gate a boxer came running to meet me, I always liked a boxer having owned a couple in the past, but wasn't going to be tricked like before.
I walked up with a rubber band already attached to the notice, with the intention of attaching it to the top of the chain link gate, the only problem was every time I tried to attach it to the gate the dog would jump up and snap at my hands with his teeth.

So here we are the boxer jumping up and down on one side of the gate and me on the other side holding the notice in one hand and the rubber band attached to it looped around the thumb and index finger of the other hand, moving my hands together from the top of the gate to up above my head over and over. I was trying to time it to where I could attach the notice without the dog grabbing my hand. But instead it looked like we were doing some weird synchronized meter reader/boxer dog hokey pokey dance.

I finally timed it to where she was on the ground and right before her next bounce I snapped the rubber band on the gate, I threw both hands above my head in victory and yelled "Yes!"

Next thing I see is the dogs back feet on top of the gate, I take a step backwards just as her front paws hit me right in the chest, I start zig zagging backwards towards my truck and the dog is zig zagging in front of me, lunging and snapping as she is forcing me backwards. Kind of like a we are now doing the two step, the only problem is I am not the one leading, and I really didn't go to this house to dance with this dog, but here I am making moves I didn't know that I could make.

My handy dandy meter key (Source) Tools of the trade

Up against my truck I reach into the back and grab my trusty meter key, now I have the boxers attention as we play Zorro, I slash zees through the air and the boxer does what boxer dogs do, she bounces on her back feet and throws her paws in the movements that gave this breed their name.

I worked my way to the drivers door and jumped into the truck, the dog bounced back over the fence and we sat there staring at one another, no blows were ever exchanged, so I suppose this bought could be called a draw, unless you want to give it to the dog for form, she did fly through the air briefly.

One of my customers was a motorcycle mechanic that was late on his bill frequently, a big guy who deep down was a good man, I always liked this guy. He knew exactly when his reminder notices were due and would chain his German Shepherd dog on the front porch making it impossible for anyone to get to his door.

Whenever I went to collect I would walk up, pat the dog on the head and knock on the door. He would open the door, laugh and say, Hell Jimmy I knew it had to be you because you are the only one he will let on the porch.

I had a newly appointed female supervisor, and one day she decided that she was going to ride along with me to see how well I knew my job. I had been a Customer service representative for a while and was doing collections on this particular day, she followed me up to each persons door and stood behind me to listen and take notes.

Before we ever got to the motorcycle mechanics house I told her, you need to stay in the truck and let me collect this one by myself. She responded, if you are going to the door, I will be right behind you.

I stopped in front of his house and told her. You really need to stay in the truck. She wanted an explanation, so I pointed to the dog.

First thing is I don’t think you can get past the dog, second thing is he is a pretty big dude and will answer the door in his underwear which will embarrass you, he will either pay me or he won't and if he doesn't I will shut off his water, simple as that. She told me there was no way I could know this and that she would be going up to his door, I just grinned.

She opened her door and started to get out of the truck. I said, for the last time you need to stay in the truck, she looked at me and said, you are forgetting who the boss is here. I replied, just remember I warned you.

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I leaned on the truck and watched her strut up to the house, then I tried not to laugh as she ran back down the walkway with the German Shepherd barking at her heels, he chased her to the end of his chain.

She was yelling for me to call animal control, I didn’t say anything and walked right past her up to the dog, I patted him on the head and knocked on the door. Mr. Motorcycle Mechanic opened the door in his tightie whities and grinned saying, who's the gal in the truck? I told him it's my boss, she came out to see if I know what I'm doing, he laughed and said, I see she couldn’t get past the dog. As I said before I always liked this guy.

I guess the German Shepherd showed her who was boss, and no I did not call animal control, this dog liked me.