Original Ding Dong

"Plink plonk", went the doorbell. This is sure a weak attempt at letting us know someone is at the door. Cindy's Dad has a physical therapist coming out to the house, and after his last hospital stay they sent a nurse in for four visits.

"Plink plonk", goes the doorbell, so I get out of my chair to open the door. Where you going? Cindy's Dad asks. The physical therapist is here; I'm going to let her in. I tell him as I'm walking to the door. How do you know she is here? He asks. Because the doorbell rang, I say. I didn't hear no doorbell.

After the therapist leaves. I make a decision, which is normally overruled, and say. Dad that doorbell is getting pretty weak so I think I will get a wireless set. One that has two receivers so I can plug one in here where we sit, and one in the front room, that way we know when someone is here. He questions what I mean by wireless set. So I show him the set we bought for him to get our attention with.

I had actually bought a doorbell set for him a while back, one receiver is in Cindy's and my bedroom and the other out in the bunkhouse, where our computers are, Dad carries the button so if we are not with him and he needs us he can get our attention. This works really well at night, oh man it is really loud at night.

I thought that I would get another set and simply replace our existing doorbell button with the one from the new set and use it like it is intended, you know like a doorbell. Well what's wrong with the doorbell we have? He asks. So I explain again that you can barely hear the one we have. Then he tells me. There shouldn't be anything wrong with it, you just replaced it with a new one not long ago. No sir I replaced the button when we first came to stay with you, nine years ago.

Oh yeah, he says to me. That means the doorbell has never been replaced. Then Cindy asks. When do you want to replace that doorbell? I tell her about my decision to buy another wireless doorbell set, and place one in the front room, and one in the room where we sit, that way we can hear when someone rings the doorbell.

Oh no, She says, we should just replace the doorbell that's not working. Yes I can do that, I tell her, but for twenty four bucks I can order one from our favorite place that sells everything from A to Z and have it rushed to our door in two days. All I would have to do then is plug one in each room and replace the doorbell button with the new one, no wiring required.

Oh no, she again says, what if it interferes with the one we already have? It won't interfere. But what if when Dad pushes his button that we don't know whether it's him or someone at the door? She asks. Simple, I tell her, we just set the doorbell to a different sound than Dad's. Nope I don't like it we will just go and get a new doorbell.

Overruled I find myself going to the big orange warehouse lumberyard/ big box store to buy a doorbell with Cindy. They had choices but the cheapest one that she liked was forty bucks. I suggested skipping this and going back to my original plan. Nope we are already here so we will just get this one, she informs me. And we are off to the registers, which are on the opposite side of the store over in the lumberyard.

Then suddenly like a hen on a June bug, Cindy is diving into the clearance rack, she comes out holding a doorbell like the one we wanted marked ten dollars and three cents, satisfied with her find she lays the forty buck one down and continues walking.

Why was that one marked down so cheap? I hear Cindy's Dad ask her. At the time I am up on a step stool removing the old doorbell. I don't know Dad. It looked like the package had been opened. She replies to him. I now have the package opened and everything is there except the little hardware package, which isn't a big deal because I can simply use the screws from the old one.

Cindy's Dad tells her. There must have been something wrong with it to be marked down like that. I am now back up on the stool connecting the wires, I push the test button and hear a loud "DING DONG" nice, then I hold it down for a different tone... nothing. No big deal as long as we get the original Ding Dong.

I heard that, is that as loud as it goes? Cindy's Dad asks. I don't know Dad. Cindy replies. Is that as loud as it goes Jimmy? Yes that is as loud as it goes, I reply. Yes that's as loud as it goes Dad, Cindy says. It'd be nice if you could turn it up louder; maybe that's why it was marked down. He tells her.

I now have the wiring done and hold it up to attach it to the wall, and of course the screw holes don't line up, so I drop the doorbell down and move it over to where at least one does line up, I now have one screw firmly holding our bargain basement doorbell bell in place, I push the test button one more time "DING DONG" thumbs up. I climb down and go to the front door and press the button, and nothing happens, no DING DONG, plink plonk, nothing.

I can hold the button down and it will ring, but nothing if I press it normally. To make a long story short for this doorbell to work you have to install to the connections of the doorbell button a little diode that looks like a hair with a lump in the middle that is included in the doorbells "HARDWARE PACKAGE" which we don't have.

Cindy's Dad is laughing so hard while I take the doorbell down and place it back into the previously opened package that I had torn open again. The return was easy at the orange warehouse lumber yard/ big box store, Cindy pockets her ten bucks and change while I again suggest my original plan of getting a wireless set.

Nope we are here, let's just get the 39.99 doorbell we came for. Cindy and I walk back to the doorbell display and guess what, that particular doorbell slot is empty, sold out, gone...

Cindy rejects everything else they have to offer, rejects my once again suggestion to order a wireless set, and against my better judgment while she is browsing I walk over to the clearance rack and pick up the original doorbell that we were going to buy. You remember the one Cindy left behind when she found the clearance one earlier.

Cindy yells to me from the doorbell display, No Jimmy we are not getting another clearance doorbell! It's not a clearance one; this is the first one you had. I reply. I didn't know the girl could move so fast. Next thing I know she has the doorbell in hand and is heading for the self-checkout.

First thing I did was install the little diode that looks like a hair with a lump in the middle into the doorbell button, and then I hooked up the wires to the doorbell. The test button works, all the other tones work, and before I drill any holes or attach any screws, I go to the front door and push the doorbell button...

Success! It works. Cindy's Dad yells. Is that someone at the door? No Dad it's Jimmy putting up the new doorbell. I hear Cindy tell him. Well I hope he got a better one than that cheap one he had.

DING DONG, How about that Dad? I ask. How about what? The doorbell how does that sound? I ask again. "DING DONG" that's kind of low, can you turn it up? It's already all the way up. I tell him. I selected a different tone. DING DING DING DING DONG, DONG DONG DONG DING DONG. That's a nice tone he says.

When I hear this, I place the cover on the doorbell and climb down, I am picking up my tools when Cindy comes in and says. I can't believe Dad is having a hard time hearing that. Well her Dad heard Cindy say that. He yells, I don't know why you are working on that doorbell anyway, spending good money for nothing, because I won't answer the door even if I could hear it.

Cindy looks at me and whispers, I hate to say this but we should have just ordered the wireless set...