Yesterday we went to Sam's Club to get gas in Cindy's SUV, and to pick up a few items. The longer we were there the heavier the shopping cart became, it appeared that we must have been out of everything at home. I am pushing a completely overloaded shopping cart, while Cindy is still adding things onto the top, Cindy's Dad Ray is leading the way on one of the stores electric scooters with the basket getting pretty full on it also.
The last item was added and we were turning around to head for the registers, no one was behind me so I turned the cart around to follow Cindy, this put Ray behind me, and right in the middle of his u-turn on the electric scooter it evidently shut off.
"Hey Jimmy! Can you look at this!" Ray said to me, so I left the shopping cart and went back to help Ray who was sitting on a dead scooter perfectly blocking the whole aisle, I was getting ready to push when after flipping the switch off and on a few times the scooter came back to life.
I turned around and there is a man holding onto his cart with one hand while dragging my cart from one side of the aisle to the other with his other hand, rather than question why he didn't just go around the cart, I trotted up to him and took the cart. "I'm sorry, let me get that" I said to him. "Yes you are!, You inconsiderate Son of a Bitch!" he said as he walked past me.
I know, I know, in one ear and out the other, like water off a ducks back, just ignore him...but I literally felt like I had been hit in the face with a 2 x 4, I felt like all of a sudden my head was in a barrel, everything around me was echoing, I called for him to wait up a minute, and in the background I could hear Cindy's voice. "Don't do it Jimmy!, Jimmy just let it go!" I'm still standing with my hands on the handle of the shopping cart and Ray goes past me. "What did he say?" Ray asked. "He said that I was sorry and called me an inconsiderate SOB"
Me repeating it only hurt my feelings more, I was a lot more than ticked off, I was pissed...I wasn't even quick enough to come up with a good reply when he cursed me.
I am normally a pretty quiet person anyways, and I am not used to being cursed at like this, especially for no reason, so to have my wife telling me to settle down while I felt like the whole store was staring at me, only made me more angry.
Then the guy gets into line right next to us, Cindy sees him and looks me right in the eyes and says "You just need to keep your mouth shut, don't say anything!", I have a few things I'd like to say" I told her, and he turned his cart around and got out of line.
As we were leaving I spotted him in line a little further up, "Don't do it Jimmy!, don't say anything, quit looking at him Jimmy!" I turned loose of the cart and walked right towards him, he saw me coming and looked like he was ready for a fight. When I got into hearing distance I said to him "I hope that you have a wonderful afternoon Sir!" I gave him a half hearted salute (yes with all of my fingers, not just one) and waited for him to reply. He just stood there with his mouth open like he was dumbfounded. I turned and walked back to our cart, and that was that...
No this was only the beginning. My act of aggression was uncalled for Cindy told me, Aggression? All I did was tell him to have a wonderful afternoon after the man had called me sorry and then cursed me, yes but you should have let it go.
Why do I feel like this is all my fault? Why did my good day go to bad? I'm not a fighter, I don't cause problems in public, and I don't curse people I see in the stores, but this man cursing me like this really got to me, and I suppose even though I hadn't done or said anything at the time Cindy could see what I was thinking on my face.
After a good nights sleep I will feel all better...Right? This morning I want you to know that even though I am not any more mad at my wife than I was yesterday, I was never mad at her, but I am still pissed about what that man had the nerve to say to me.
The last item was added and we were turning around to head for the registers, no one was behind me so I turned the cart around to follow Cindy, this put Ray behind me, and right in the middle of his u-turn on the electric scooter it evidently shut off.
"Hey Jimmy! Can you look at this!" Ray said to me, so I left the shopping cart and went back to help Ray who was sitting on a dead scooter perfectly blocking the whole aisle, I was getting ready to push when after flipping the switch off and on a few times the scooter came back to life.
I turned around and there is a man holding onto his cart with one hand while dragging my cart from one side of the aisle to the other with his other hand, rather than question why he didn't just go around the cart, I trotted up to him and took the cart. "I'm sorry, let me get that" I said to him. "Yes you are!, You inconsiderate Son of a Bitch!" he said as he walked past me.
I know, I know, in one ear and out the other, like water off a ducks back, just ignore him...but I literally felt like I had been hit in the face with a 2 x 4, I felt like all of a sudden my head was in a barrel, everything around me was echoing, I called for him to wait up a minute, and in the background I could hear Cindy's voice. "Don't do it Jimmy!, Jimmy just let it go!" I'm still standing with my hands on the handle of the shopping cart and Ray goes past me. "What did he say?" Ray asked. "He said that I was sorry and called me an inconsiderate SOB"
Me repeating it only hurt my feelings more, I was a lot more than ticked off, I was pissed...I wasn't even quick enough to come up with a good reply when he cursed me.
I am normally a pretty quiet person anyways, and I am not used to being cursed at like this, especially for no reason, so to have my wife telling me to settle down while I felt like the whole store was staring at me, only made me more angry.
Then the guy gets into line right next to us, Cindy sees him and looks me right in the eyes and says "You just need to keep your mouth shut, don't say anything!", I have a few things I'd like to say" I told her, and he turned his cart around and got out of line.
As we were leaving I spotted him in line a little further up, "Don't do it Jimmy!, don't say anything, quit looking at him Jimmy!" I turned loose of the cart and walked right towards him, he saw me coming and looked like he was ready for a fight. When I got into hearing distance I said to him "I hope that you have a wonderful afternoon Sir!" I gave him a half hearted salute (yes with all of my fingers, not just one) and waited for him to reply. He just stood there with his mouth open like he was dumbfounded. I turned and walked back to our cart, and that was that...
No this was only the beginning. My act of aggression was uncalled for Cindy told me, Aggression? All I did was tell him to have a wonderful afternoon after the man had called me sorry and then cursed me, yes but you should have let it go.
Why do I feel like this is all my fault? Why did my good day go to bad? I'm not a fighter, I don't cause problems in public, and I don't curse people I see in the stores, but this man cursing me like this really got to me, and I suppose even though I hadn't done or said anything at the time Cindy could see what I was thinking on my face.
After a good nights sleep I will feel all better...Right? This morning I want you to know that even though I am not any more mad at my wife than I was yesterday, I was never mad at her, but I am still pissed about what that man had the nerve to say to me.
You did not deserve that, and I COMPLETELY understand your feelings. I still have flashbacks about the DONUT MAN who flipped out when I dared ask if he was in line so I didn't butt in ahead of him. I can't let it go, either.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many angry people out there and you can find them at Walmart, Costco and Sam's. It's just the way of things. This clod is not worth your anger. He's the one with a problem, not you. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Let it go, Jimmy. Too many jerks in the world to battle and still keep your sanity.
ReplyDeleteNo one deserves that kind of reaction to a shopping cart blocking an aisle. Happens all the time and you just move it and go on your way. That you had rushed off to help your elderly father-in-law just made it hurt all the more---you weren't being thoughtless. I think what you said to the guy was absolutely perfect. What could he say back without making himself look like the ass he was in front of other people? Let's hope it was a wake up call to him just how out of line he'd been. There are many unstable people in the world...Cindy gave you good advice.
ReplyDeleteOh man! Im not one to say things back but my buggy would have went up his A$$ starting with the back of his ankles. Im surprised Cindy wasnt the one to share her thoughts with him. But im glad she was a referee this time.
ReplyDeleteLisa
I am so sorry. And know how you are feeling. A fortnight ago I was on my way to do my voluntary work. I had a bag of supplies to drop off at the Early Mornng Centre for the homeless. A woman asked me for change because 'I am sooooo hungry'. I said I had none, and asked her if she knew of the Early Morning Centre where she could get a meal.
ReplyDelete'Oh eff off, you ugly c***' was her response. And it threw me all day.
I like your response to Captain Rude. And hope he thinks about it.
Something similar threw me for a day a couple of years back and I still can't forget how I felt by the way she reacted when all I tried to do was help.
DeleteI know how hard it is to control yourself when something like that happens. Most of the time I just let it go but sometimes it takes a lot not to get involved in an angry argument. You did a good job.
ReplyDeleteLike the other commenters said, just let it roll off your back. HE'S the one with the problem!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is about Sams club and walmart, but just the aura of the place has a negative effect on people, especially the bad ones to begin with.
ReplyDeleteI do like their scan and go app, I just walk through the lines.
Jimmy, some people have a lot of rage inside them ... probably that poor man had experienced a truly rotten morning, maybe even a rotten life...and he took it out on you. I hope for his sake it released a little of his internal tension and lowered his blood pressure. Now, don't let him put internal pressure and high blood presssure in you. Smile, tell yourself you didn't deserve it but it was just a blip in time. It's over. He's gone and you still have your wonderful happy life. There's a good chance he is still an unhappy person. That is punishment enough.
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that it takes a thousand "atta boys" to undo one "son-of-a-bitch" I hold onto things longer than I should even when I realize it's like giving them free rent in your brain. My blog has re-opened for business. Hope to see you there.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their breaking point and that was yours Jimmy. Even the mildest of people have a breaking point. I have to agree with Cindy though, once that man left your checkout line that should have been the end of it. What if you'd walked up, said what you did and then he jumped you or something? He's not worth the trouble.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I hate it when something like that happens - I cannot get it out of my head, it never completely leaves, it just takes time to fade. And in the meantime I'm practicing all the snappy comebacks I could have said . . . but it's far too late and would I really say something that might get me physically assaulted anyhow? I think your reply to that man was perfect, but I'm also really glad he didn't wind up and hit you - which can happen more and more these days.
ReplyDeleteGood air in, bad air out, breathe . . . hold the ones you love tightly, and be glad you didn't turn out to be a person like that who carries so much misery inside himself that it has to spill out so easily . . .
I have to question WHY people are becoming so aggressive. It's all so unnecessary. I admire your attitude but I hope the guy choked on his next meal, if he has one. There is no excuse for that sort of behaviour, no matter how many excuses are offered in the way of sympathy or understanding.
ReplyDeleteIt might have a lot to do with time and pressure. Too much work pressure and not enough time sitting around the dinner table discussing the day and its problems or joys, friendly family discussions where you can let out some of the built up steam (angst).
DeleteI've had that happen a few times and I'm sorry to say that the comments tend to stick with you.
ReplyDeleteLack of patience can be seen everywhere Jimmy even in most in sposed to be the most respectable and responsible place like national assembly we see often people abusing each othe r and throwing chairs and tables and this is almost everywhere .
ReplyDeletefew years back situation was quite different but now it looks like people seek for place to burst out their anger anyway and may be he did same with you
i adore you for your incredibly patient behaviour and exactly perfect reaction which was luckily influenced by Cindy' polit and wise nature
you are amazing person and i am proud of you !
Wow, what an asshole. I'm not sure I would have been able to restrain myself from popping off some stupid remark, although I must say I've learned from bitter experience that engaging with idiots like that gets us nowhere. And I hate to lower myself to the level some folks think is acceptable.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I'll try your response next time. Sadly, there will be a next time :-(
You definitely came out on top of that deal. The guy was running from you cause he knew he had stepped over the line and was wrong plus he was probably a bit afraid of you. Ya done good Jimmy.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just jerks... And someone once said to be nice to your enemies for it is like pouring hot coals on them, yet we're also told that vengeance doesn't belong to us. It is hard to let such comments go, but your wife is right (and mine would have said the same thing).
ReplyDeletePerhaps this guy was having a bad day, but there's still no reason for rudeness, especially when you took the time to apologize in advance. your response - brilliant! Hugs...RO
ReplyDeleteI want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words of advice and encouragement, and most of all for listening to me rant about something that happens to a lot of people every day. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, we've all had to deal with jerks. But Cindy's right, let it go. Don't take it personally, the guy has issues. If that happens to me, I try to remember that, obviously, the jerk has a miserable life. Sometimes it's easier said than done!
ReplyDeleteI hate it when someone is rude to me especially when it's uncalled for. But you behaved well. You don't know what effect your words will have had on that man. Next time he's tempted to swear at someone he may think twice.
ReplyDeleteBut I hope you can let it go and forget it.
Sounds like he was having a bad day and took it out on you. Don't take it personally and Cindy's right sometimes you have to take the higher road. I've had my share of insults over the years just for looking the way I do, and you do have to develop a thick skin.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to take it personally when someone is rude like that. I try to brush it off by saying that probably they had a horrible day, but it doesn't always work.
ReplyDelete