No Answers

They loaded everything they owned into the back of the car and drove off into the sunset, leaving the town they had raised the kids in and moving across country, this was both an exciting and sad thing at the same time, it’s easy to jump up and go help out when a loved one cries for help, and it is also easy to be brought to tears at the realization of leaving life as you know it behind.

We are going to make new friends and get a chance to spend some time with people we have not seen in a while she reassured him, yes I know he said, this is going to be a good change, a day and a half later they pulled into the driveway of the house they would call home now.

Moving into someone’s home to help them out looks good on the surface, and with the state of the economy it is a smart thing combining two households..Right? Medical bills and chronic conditions keep them tied to the house, and a couple years later those new friends have still not been found, we will find a good church and start going on Sunday he told her, she smiled because it sounded like a good idea, but getting away is easier said than done.

Anger and tension directed toward them makes the days seem endless, she cries and blames herself for leaving the kids behind, even though they are all grown, and with new additions to the family she feels that moving may have not been such a good idea after all, he sits back and stares blankly at the mountains because words unsaid are better sometimes than the ones he may be thinking, because in the back of his mind he knows there is no answer.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease and it affects more than just the person diagnosed, the one diagnosed will lash out at the loved ones who are there to help, accusing them of only being there to take everything away, and the spouse will stand right there and do everything in their power to keep the memory from slipping away from the one they love, even if it includes lashing out at the ones there to help also.

He’s trying to kill me, I hate you, you SOB, you ain’t no good, look at what you have done to me, why are they here, make them move out, It’s my GD house not yours, are common phrases that lead them to lock their bedroom door at night, waking in the morning light is not filled with a warm hug and a kiss good morning, but a glance into each others faces waiting for the sound coming from the kitchen, will it be laughter or a hissy fit this morning?

As I said before I have no answer, once you pack up and dispose of everything you own there is no going back, sitting in a place where you have nowhere to go, kind of sets the mood for a bit of depression, but you chose this road and the question is, do you continue fighting the fight and help out where you promised, in spite of the accusations and frustration, or do you pack everything into the car and drive into the direction you came only to wish you hadn’t.