Valet Parking And White Gloves

The story you are about to read is true, only the names and most of the details have been changed to protect the guilty; I see no reason to protect the innocent because normally the innocent are simply the bystanders.

It was just a small startup type of business; they sold couches and chairs out of the garage and made a small profit because the quality was decent and the prices were low.

Just a couple of guys who bought a small house and opened a furniture store, it looked more like a yard sale but Ralph and Tuck opened the garage door each morning and dragged the furniture out where everyone could see it.

A couple of years later they seemed to hit on hard times and hung a sign on the garage door, “Going Out Of Business” it was sad to see another Mom and Pop shop or should I say a Pop and Pop shop closing down.

Next thing we knew construction began on the backside of the little house, a large warehouse with a showroom was built, before long a large Grand Opening sign was hung, Ralph and Tuck was back in business.

Then the lot next door was bought and a large parking area was poured, the selections of furniture grew and so did the prices, "Come on down to Ralph and Tucks where you will find the best selection in town!"

The inevitable happened once again, all of a sudden a large “Going Out Of Business” sign was displayed sadly on the side of the warehouse, the furniture prices were slashed to just above a price you could afford and mattresses flew out the door like magic carpets.

The rest of the city block around Ralph and Tucks was leveled, then the warehouse and showroom was demolished, then Ralph and Tucks house went down.

Before long a huge store was built, and as you may have guessed a new furniture store opened, "Come on down to Furniture For You, where you will find the best selection in town!" Do I have to tell you who the owners were?

Now all of a sudden there was valet parking, the price of admission at the door was taken only from serious buyers, you had to take your shoes off to enter, and white gloves were issued.

Don’t even think about sitting on that chair because if you add a butt print it is going home with you, it didn’t take long for Tuck to tell Ralph the sales were down, heck at these prices all we have to do is get one Cowboy to accidentally sit on a recliner then we are set for another year.

The Cowboy didn’t fall for it and the business did fail once again, another Grand Opening event came and went with no valet parking but an upstairs had been added to the building.

About every other year it seemed this place went out of business and reopened bigger and better, the name changed each time but Ralph and Tuck were the only salesmen you ever saw.

I am not sure how this all works but last time we drove through town I think I actually saw a sign that read, “Come on down to Ralph and Tucks annual Going Out Of Business sale”

I didn’t stop because this cowboy is careful where he leaves his butt print.