Back when I first began dating I was told by my elders to always walk up to the door and knock rather than expect my date to come running at the honk of the horn, I always did this and even today have a hard time expecting anyone to meet me in their driveway.
When we are picking up a friend Cindy has suggested, "just honk the horn" but I just can’t bring myself to do so, I still end up walking to the door to knock rather than honk, a matter of respect in my opinion.
Back when the daughter started dating this was a source of embarrassment for her on more than one occasion, I finally got my point made with the majority, but especially had a hard time with one, just for fun we will call him Brad.
The daughter was frantically getting ready for her date with Brad, she had just walked into the living room when the sound of Brads car pulling into the driveway got our attention, a loud horn honk and the daughter with purse in hand sprinted for the door, “Be back later” she shouted.
Wait I yelled, motion for that boy to come inside, I want to talk to him a minute, she reluctantly did and he sat through the old "Ain't nobody going to honk a horn and expect my daughter to come running" speech.
Next time he pulled into the driveway the same thing happened, only this time I was nearly to his door when he shut the car off and jumped out yelling sorry, sorry, from then on there was a knock at the door each time he came by, that boy was a slow learner, can’t really say that I miss him.
Sitting on the porch just this morning a lady that we see everyday walking her dog came by, just as they got in front of the gate there was a single bark to which our little dog Dixie jumped up and ran to meet him at the gate.
Good mornings were exchanged and the dogs rubbed noses, sniffed, licked, wagged tails, and did all the usual things that dogs always do, the lady laughed and said "He has a girlfriend at Every Gate"
Kind of reminds me of Brad, I really think that he did too. As far as the dogs go, I guess I'm going to have a long talk with that boy.
What do you think of people who honk the horn and expect you to come running?
If someone is picking you up to shop, or for a ride to work, then I say honking is okay. For someone dating, I much prefer them to come to the door. If my daughter didn't want them coming in, that was a sure sigh she was hiding something she didn't want me to know about them and didn't want me to quiz them in any way! Call me skeptical... I AM!
ReplyDeleteHey Ms. A, I would agree on the honk for shopping and going to work pick up, but a date had better come to the door at my house ha ha
Delete" If my daughter didn't want them coming in, that was a sure sign she was hiding something" Very true that is a definite sign of someone like good ole Brad, and in my opinion being skeptical is not such a bad thing when it comes to daughters.
I'm afraid we oldsters who still believe in manner are a dying breed. You and I were trained to be gentlemen, and the young people today weren't raised the same way. We always instructed our son to knock on a girl's door rather than honking. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea though. He's 35 and still single.
ReplyDeleteYes Stephen, Manners does seem a thing of the past sad to say, but I still say they are necessary even if not common.
Delete35 and still single, maybe he is smarter than you are giving him credit for :)
My son married at 37. He had his education, had been teaching for over ten years, and had a home and it was furnished. He met a 27-yr-old woman who was also a teacher. Now, they have two children and she went back to teaching.
DeleteI told all my children, a boy and two girls, that I was not anxious for them to marry or give me grandchildren, that it was their life to live. I told them not to go too fast because others were married or having babies. Around this town there is nothing to do but get married, and all the mothers start carping about wanting grandchildren.
Hey Linda, Our daughter listened to her Mom and is still working on her career, in spite of boys like good ole Brad she still has not blessed us with any grandchildren.
DeleteMy daughter pulled the old "I'm just meeting him at blah, blah, blah" routine......I think to avoid the very subject you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteYes Bijoux and how about "Oh he is just a friend" I was born on the weekend but it wasn't last weekend ha ha
DeleteIf it a date, the honk don't fly.
ReplyDeleteAmen Joe, that about sums it up.
Delete" As far as the dogs go, I guess I'm going to have a long talk with that boy."
ReplyDeleteHA! Loved that, Jimmy!
I'm from the old school, so I have to agree with you 100%. And it blows me away how manners have totally dissipated off the face of the earth. People no longer even say thank you or hold doors open for each other. One day last week, I held a door open for an elderly lady and she said, "My...I guess there are still gentlemen in this world!"
Ron I can't believe how many young people allow doors to slam in the faces of our elderly, it embarrasses me to say the least, and at the same time makes me so proud to hear someone say Yes Mam or Yes Sir when answering to you.
DeleteThis has made me curious about my son and his dating habits. I'm going to ask him if he went to the door to get his date or just honked the horn. Funny how I didn't think of it before your post and he's 25 years old. Somehow I think we did mention dating etiquette was to get at the door, so I hope he did that.
ReplyDeleteI have waited outside a few times for people when they were running late to save time, but never during my dating years :)
betty
Hi Betty, I am sure you taught your son the proper etiquette, however you have to remember at 25 years old, don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer :)
DeleteThis coming from someone who has gotten startling answers from all the children.
My children are all much older, so the honking is no longer an issue. But, my ex thought my daughters were okay with running to meet guys.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone is picking me up, I am horrified with the blasts on the horn as they arrive and as they leave. These are friends, male and female, not dates. I think it is rude to my neighbors. I despise the "shave and a haircut" honk. Where were these people raised??? Now, when someone is picking me up and it is cold or raining, I suggest that a little toot of the horn will alert me so I can run out. Now, still not talking about a date.
Hi Linda, When it's cold and raining and you are waiting on someone I can see it then but otherwise I see no need for the honking, like you I feel it rude.
DeleteI'm with you on this one, Jimmy. Looking back - and I have to go a long way - the young folk had to walk everywhere (no cars) so they usually met at some fixed place. The boys only went to the house if they were serious about courting the girl.
ReplyDeleteHi Valerie, yes I can see where the customs were different before everyone had a car, the boys only coming to the house when they were seriously courting a girl, and none addressed the parents by their first names, a lot more respect then.
DeleteThat's cute - the dog at the gate.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any daughters, but I suppose I would have their dates come to the door. Is that the way it's done now? My sons' dating usually involves groups of friends getting together, and I don't even know if they go to the girl's door!
When I was growing up and started dating, it was pretty much expected that boys came to the door rather than just honk. Same went for the end of the date - walk me to the door. Good things happen when you walk to the door ;)
Yes Abby, you always had to walk the girl to the door at the end of the evening, no dropping them off at the curb even if the date was not so good, and like you said Good things sometimes happen when you walk to the door.
DeleteWe were raised like you. It is a matter of respect.
ReplyDeleteOur children learn from our behaviors. My husband still after 32 years always opens the car door or other doors for me. I've noticed my sons do the same for their significant others. I was once told the best thing a fathers teaches/passes down to his children is how he treats their mother. I suppose it's possible this is true in our case.
Hey Suzicate, that is what it comes down to, Respect, so many do not have respect anymore and in my opinion this is where a lot of our problems stem from.
Delete"the best thing a fathers teaches/passes down to his children is how he treats their mother." with this said I know you and Dirtman have done well with your boys.
I'm with you, there's no way a boyfriend is driving up and honking for my daughter, very disrespectful. I wouldn't even consider doing that if I was picking up my wife now, let alone when we were dating.
ReplyDeleteThat is what it's all about Jeff, Respect we were taught it when we were young and I just wonder why it seems no one is learning it now days, man I can just imagine pulling up and honking for my wife.
DeleteHonking the horn? Automobile? Back when I was dating, it was practically horse and carriage. No honking then.
ReplyDelete;-)
I bet your Pa didn't allow a boy to sit at the carriage and yell for you either ;)
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