If I could go back and do it all over again!
How many times have you said this? I know that many times this is the thought process when the results are not exactly as you planned. You think about going back and changing something that you did. But exactly where would you be today if you could go back and change things?
I have often said this about leaving South Carolina when I was 18. "I never should have left home, it was stupid for me to have left like that!"
I drove from South Carolina to New Mexico in 2 days, I spent the night by myself in a motel in Brinkley, Arkansas, feasted on peanut butter and white bread because bringing along enough money to live on never crossed my mind, and I reconnected with my Dad and Grandad which was my intention at the time.
If I had never left, my Dad would have come back home to South Carolina like he did anyway, and my Grandad would have still died when he did, leaving me 1600 miles away from home without the people that I came there to reconnect with. I would have missed out on my failed marriage to my first wife, and nearly starving to death in Texas back in the early eighties. There are a lot of bad things that you go through, we all have serious issues and situations that we have endured, some that you wish had never happened, but happen they did. And you are who you are because of the things you have experienced in life.
There is no telling how my life would have turned out, if I could only go back and change the fact that I drove away from my home over forty years ago. But if I had not taken that little road trip, I most likely would not be in California right now, I would have never met Cindy, and all of our little adventures that I have shared with you would have never happened.
You touch a lot of people along the way, you meet good friends and sometimes you find the love of your life. You are actually right where you are supposed to be in life. If you had the chance to go back and change something you did, how much of your life would actually change?
It would be nice if I had stayed in South Carolina, but had I stayed I know that I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I could speculate on how my life could have been, but what scares me is to think about the good things in my life that would have never happened had I stayed home. What could have been would definitely erase a lot of good memories.
Like I said before you are right where you are supposed to be, the experiences you have had, made you into the person that you are.
Things that happened in the past can't be erased, you have to live through hard times to sometimes appreciate the good things that you have in life, be happy with yourself for who you are, be proud of the fact that hard times in your life actually made you stronger, bad people have taught you to recognize the good people that you now call friends, and that your life has really been filled with a lot of good things...
If you could go back and do it all differently, would you?, I don't think that I would! For me the good things that would be erased far outweigh the bad things or decisions that I made. If I could go back and do it all over again, I think that I would do it all the same.
Would you change anything?
How many times have you said this? I know that many times this is the thought process when the results are not exactly as you planned. You think about going back and changing something that you did. But exactly where would you be today if you could go back and change things?
I have often said this about leaving South Carolina when I was 18. "I never should have left home, it was stupid for me to have left like that!"
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| Me soon after arriving in New Mexico |
If I had never left, my Dad would have come back home to South Carolina like he did anyway, and my Grandad would have still died when he did, leaving me 1600 miles away from home without the people that I came there to reconnect with. I would have missed out on my failed marriage to my first wife, and nearly starving to death in Texas back in the early eighties. There are a lot of bad things that you go through, we all have serious issues and situations that we have endured, some that you wish had never happened, but happen they did. And you are who you are because of the things you have experienced in life.
There is no telling how my life would have turned out, if I could only go back and change the fact that I drove away from my home over forty years ago. But if I had not taken that little road trip, I most likely would not be in California right now, I would have never met Cindy, and all of our little adventures that I have shared with you would have never happened.
You touch a lot of people along the way, you meet good friends and sometimes you find the love of your life. You are actually right where you are supposed to be in life. If you had the chance to go back and change something you did, how much of your life would actually change?
It would be nice if I had stayed in South Carolina, but had I stayed I know that I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I could speculate on how my life could have been, but what scares me is to think about the good things in my life that would have never happened had I stayed home. What could have been would definitely erase a lot of good memories.
Like I said before you are right where you are supposed to be, the experiences you have had, made you into the person that you are.
Things that happened in the past can't be erased, you have to live through hard times to sometimes appreciate the good things that you have in life, be happy with yourself for who you are, be proud of the fact that hard times in your life actually made you stronger, bad people have taught you to recognize the good people that you now call friends, and that your life has really been filled with a lot of good things...
If you could go back and do it all differently, would you?, I don't think that I would! For me the good things that would be erased far outweigh the bad things or decisions that I made. If I could go back and do it all over again, I think that I would do it all the same.
Would you change anything?
That's a tough question, isn't it. Most of the time I think of that question in terms of the guys I dated and didn't marry. Knowing how they all turned out, I thank my younger self for having the good sense to know something just wasn't right in our relationships. I would have been a different person, suffocated, had I gone a different direction with those guys and I like the way I turned out.
ReplyDeleteWe are who we are today for all the bumps we endured along the way. I wouldn't go back and change anything. I'm a happy person and living with the love of my life. It doesn't get any better than that.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I always thought it would be neat to have all the knowledge you have today and start over from day 1. I certainly would have stopped my dad from smoking, it only took 7 years after my birth for him to die from lung cancer
ReplyDeleteI would't mind going back knowing what I know now....I would appreciate everything and everyone so much more and I would make sure they knew it. I probably wouldn't change much except my attitude lol.
ReplyDeleteNice post, Jimmy. This is a tough question to wrap the mind around. I know I've made mistakes, but if I'd done things differently, I would be a different person now. "Different" doesn't mean "better". I'll just keep trying to live with no regrets.
ReplyDeleteThat photo of you - put a few girls' dads on alert, I bet!
I have thought about this myself and come to the same conclusion as you. I did lots of stupid stuff and did not do all I should have, but if I changed any, would it change where I am today? I'm satisfied how things turned out even though I could have made better choices and done things smarter so...
ReplyDeleteActually, I wish I had just once told my second wife to "shut the F*** up and be glad I choose to walk away instead of knocking you out!'
Actually that was pretty cathartic...I'm good.
I prefer not to look back, knowing I did the very best I could at the time, right or wrong, and why set myself up for any regret. Just a lesson about life that I had to learn for myself. I try and stay in the present moment; it's all we are really guaranteed.
ReplyDeleteNice exercise for others, just not for me. It took me a lot of unnecessary heartache to learn it.
I am certain that if I had the chance to go back and start again I would still make mistakes. Perhaps (hopefully) different ones, but mistakes just the same.
ReplyDeleteNo-one has died because of me in my journey, so I join everyone else in saying no. I wouldn't change anything. Despite my all too common stupidity.
It's strange to think about how just one little decision can change your whole life. I would have never met my spouse if two of my friends had not talked to two of his friends one night at our college library, which set off a chain of events to us meeting a month later.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes play "what if". There were decisions I made that I wish I hadn't and no-- I would not be who I am today had I chosen differently. I am basically a happy person but perhaps I might have been a better one. We will never know so it is best to be satisfied with the forks in the road we chose.
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting question that can only be speculated on. There are certainly things in my life I wished had worked out better, but if they had I might be unhappy today. Had I been a more successful artist early on I might have burned out any enthusiasm for painting today.
ReplyDeletethere are a few things I’d do differently but mostly, no. But as a tar heel, I applaud you for escaping SC. Having driven through that state today, I suggest that for every buck you’d save on taxes you’d spend several on tires and front end alignments (I’m joking, somewhat)
ReplyDeleteYears ago, when I was a kid, I felt like that. The pain of certain situations hurt, but like you, I believe that they shape us into the people we turn out to be, and allow us to meet the people we need to meet. Great topic! Hugs...RO
ReplyDeleteYeah ..... I often think back too and run through the series of events. It's runs around and around in my head sometimes until I say "enough!".
ReplyDeleteWould I? No. I could wish things had been different, wish I'd known more and done things differently, but to actually go back and change things would mean I wouldn't have the fabulous children and grandchildren I now have and this nice little flat (unit, apartment) that I live in.
ReplyDeleteI think that for someone whose life and surroundings have turned out badly and they are so miserable, perhaps with no family or friends, that person might take the chance to go back and do things differently. But being that type of person, would he? or would he just make the same mistakes?
Interesting subject, Jimmy. There are a few changes I could have made but, thinking back, I'm glad I didn't. If I had changed things I would have missed out on a happy marriage and that doesn't bear thinking about.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't have regrets? I certainly do, but like you, I see that the good and bad experiences of life has shaped me to who I am now. Not perfect, but interesting. The only thing I see could have been different is that Romeo is a homebody and I am a gypsy. He has kept me grounded.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy with my life just the way it is!!
ReplyDeleteI might have chosen to be stung by the bee that flew into my shirt pocket while driving on a curvy road, rather than flick it out the window, and roll my car. I wasn't badly hurt. But then I might not have gotten my second teaching job if I'd been able to drive myself to the interview, rather than having a friend take me, due to waiting on the insurance settlement to buy another car. Maybe that principal might not have pitied my pavement-scraped elbow, and seeing that I had a friend drive me when she walked me out to the car. You never know. I might have switched careers if I didn't get that job...
ReplyDeleteI too ran off and got married. It was stupid. The marriage was aweful and only lasted 6 months. That was the biggest mistake of my life but, It was also one of the best things I did because had I not went through the mess, I would not have the daughter I have today.
ReplyDeleteSo just look back at the foolish things you did, then think about how it made you what you are today. Not so bad huh.
Lisa.
There's no way to know how it would have turned out.
ReplyDeleteIf I was to dwell on all the wrongs and mistakes I've done in my past and still do, there's no way I'd be able to cope with my life today!
ReplyDeleteThere's no way to tell who I would be if I had stayed in Germany. And yeah, my first marriage ended in divorce...but everything that happened did lead up to my getting here, being married to my husband now, being happy in a good place.
ReplyDeleteI love the Douglas Adams quote: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” I think that applies to my life, too.