Saturday, April 29, 2017

Tomorrow will come

The commercial begins with soft singing "The sun'll come out tomorrow" and then a statement something like this "When you have heart failure tomorrow is not a given"

I'm not sure why this really ticks me off, it just does,  I don't want to endorse their product nor do I want to talk bad about it either, I'm just going to discuss the subject of tomorrow from a heart patients point of view.

The very first time that I realized tomorrow is not a given, was when I was rushed into the "Cath Lab" of the hospital in Palm Springs, California and had a cardiac catheterization done, I literally thought I was going to die when that tube was inserted into my groin with no anesthesia, I had a 100% blockage as most of you remember, for those who want to look back here is the link On The Ninth

During this experience I felt myself blacking out, and I remember feeling helpless thinking I am dying, I just wanted to see Cindy, tomorrow is not a given, but tomorrow came.

I have cherished all of my tomorrows since and the next time I felt that tomorrow is not a given was a year later, I had another angiogram done which was a piece of cake because I didn't feel a thing this time, it is amazing how well anesthesia works in situations like this.

The results were not good and I was admitted into the hospital at Loma Linda for open heart surgery, I was prepared for everything, saw the videos on what to expect, and had all of my questions answered, but I am here to tell you that all of this preparation did not prepare me for reality.

I was laying on the gurney joking with the anesthesiologist when all of a sudden I wasn't, I was looking at Cindy leaning over me and Melissa our daughter was looking over Cindy's shoulder at me, it literally went that fast.

I felt like I couldn't breathe, I certainly couldn't talk and I was pulling at the tubes laying on my chest, Cindy turned her head and said He thinks he is not breathing, he is trying to pull the tubes, she looked at me and told me to relax, a nurse stepped in front of her and told me to relax, the machine is breathing for you she said, I couldn't feel anything working, they were all holding me down, this scared the hell out of me and I really thought I was dying.

After a brief struggle they decided to remove the breathing tube, because the more I woke up, the more I fought that tube, it is scary to be joking with a person one minute and wake up the next with tubes sticking out of parts of your body that you never realized they could stick a tube.

Tomorrow is not a given but this experience gave me the assurance of more tomorrows.

The next scare was my need for the defibrillator implanted into my chest, I never felt that I was dying but during the discussion explaining it, my cardiologist reminded me that a portion of my heart is gone, "dead meat don't beat" I love this guy he has a way of explaining things that make sense to me, he said, "if you get into trouble, wait let me rephrase that" "it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when you have another cardiac issue, you will die without this"

Hopefully all of my cardiac issues are behind me for now, tomorrow is not a given but with my surgeries and defibrillator implanted I have more tomorrows promised.

Tomorrow is not a given for anyone, all of us have different issues that may limit our tomorrows and this is not just for people with heart failure, whatever our issues are we have to do our best to take care of them, and to give ourselves more tomorrows.

You can't dwell on the negatives, health problems come with living I see them as a stumbling block not as a wall that will stop me, yes I have been scared but never did I want to give up, fight for your tomorrows, even though they are not a given, always look forward to tomorrow because with faith tomorrow will come.

Have you had a scare that made you question tomorrow?

24 comments:

  1. What is that old saying......"Every day is a gift, that's why tdhey call it the present."? So very true. Enjoy each moment and don't dwell on possibilities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen Delores, people can easily get themselves wrapped up worrying about what ifs and possibilities and let life slip right by.

      Every day is a gift thats why they call it the present, I like that, thank you.

      Delete
  2. In answer to your question - yes.
    Oh, my, can't begin to imagine that catherization! Sorry about your frightful experience. Your problems sound so much like my brother's. He woke up during his open heart surgery and about flipped because he thought he couldn't breathe. He had his surgery when he was 32 and he also had 'dead meat.' No, there is no guarantee of tomorrow, but my brother had many tomorrows before he passed away at 65.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 30 + years of tomorrows was an excellent gain for your brother, I understand exactly how he felt waking up and feeling like you aren't breathing, I'll never forget that and I'm sure he didn't either.

      I'm sorry that you lost him but feel good about the tomorrows he got to see.

      Delete
  3. I have not had a health scare like you have but I've watched my mom and husband go through them....both involving heart issues plus my husband's massive stroke years after the open heart surgery. I don't like to think about there being no tomorrows and it makes me almost physically sick to do so. I'd find that commercial offensive because it takes something so positive and twists it into a scare tactic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jean, I think you have hit the nail on the head so to say, it does turn a positive into a scare tactic, this is my problem with it I am sure.

      Being there for your Mom and Husband I believe is harder than people think, the patient is always cared for by many people while the loved one is temporarily forgotten.

      Delete
  4. Can't say that I've had such a scare as you, but at my age, I do appreciate every day. Last week my son and daughter-in-law were on a plane that had to pull out of an emergency landing only a few feet off the ground when hit by a wind sheer with one of two engines on fire. That has kind of opened my eyes a bit wider.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man that would definitely get your attention, hope your son and daughter in law are handling it well, most likely scared you more than them if they are anything like our kids.

      Delete
  5. Ouch, can't imagine the cath with out anesthesia. You have really been put through the mill but modern medicine has rebuilt you. Amen. I have a stent and a pacemaker so I also know there are no guarantees and try to enjoy what I can when I can. Even with perfect health, tomorrow is a gift. There is always that kid texting while driving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Patti, yes we definitely have to appreciate the technology we have when it comes to healthcare, it is impressive how they can implant the stents and save you from being opened up, they are much more impressive with the anesthesia ha ha.

      Tomorrow is definitely a gift for everyone and we all should appreciate them.

      Delete
  6. Yes. Just over a year ago our son, our only child, collapsed with a brain aneurysm. He was rushed to the ER and prepped for brain surgery, and he was one of the lucky ones. He survived and is now better than ever. But for a while it looked like we might lose him, and that scared me more than I can describe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can imagine how scared you were when this happened, I am happy to hear that your son recovered and is doing well, this is a blessing for sure.

      Delete
  7. Not as scary as a heart attack, but I have fallen off a ladder and grabbed everything I could on the way down to stop the fall. I landed on my feet but the momentum kept me going backwards a couple of metres. Wouldn't you know it, the next year I did the same thing! A shorter fall and landed on my back, totally winded, that was the scariest part. I haven't been up a ladder since.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi River, now that is a helpless feeling, falling and grabbing for anything during the fall with nothing slowing you down, having the breath knocked out of you is definitely a scary feeling and I understand why you choose to avoid ladders now.

      Delete
  8. You went through it and survived and your friends are as grateful as you were.
    So far so good for me, Jimmy, and I thank the Lord for that. I did have a 'thought I was dying' situation when my dress caught fire and I ended up in an Accident Hospital with severe burns and several skin graft operations. Scary at the time but I look back with relief that I was one of the lucky ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Valerie, I am grateful for all of you, I can't even imagine having my clothes catch fire, I bet you did think you were dying and I am so happy that you are one of the lucky ones.

      Delete
  9. I have not had any medical emergencies, but you're right. Tomorrow is never certain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning Bijoux, hopefully you won't have any either we can always have faith that your medical emergencies will be non-existent.

      Tomorrow is never certain and with that said doesn't mean it is not a given, here's to many tomorrows.

      Good to see you my dear friend.

      Delete
  10. I'm still a little stuck on "cardiac catheterization... with no anesthesia".
    And no, I have not had a scare such as yours, but understand that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I remember going out walking with my dad about 10 years after his heart attack and having a stent put in. He said, "I hear these stents last about 5 years..." Real comforting walk conversationalist, that guy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Abby, that was an emergency situation I was 100% blocked, they said there was no other choice to save me, with that said the pain was worth it.

      I remember that conversation about how long they last after my stent was implanted, only problem was in a year mine was completely plugged, which caused the open heart surgery.....one thing leads to another, but I did get some more tomorrows.

      Your Dad sounds like a straight shooter, I suppose it goes with the territory, no sense in hiding how you feel about in, from what he was saying I get he was five years to the good on his stent.

      Delete
  11. Had a real scare but at the time I didn't realize how bad the situation was. My damn appendix was inflamed but instead of busting it was leaking, that was the way it was explained to me, into my body.

    Doctors put me into ICU for several days and there was one night I couldn't get rid of the two nurses watching over me. Plus, they had me on oxygen and put a mat under my body that circulated cold water.

    Later learned my fever had spiked excessively and that they really didn't know if I was going to make it through the night. Several days later they wheeled me into surgery, removed the appendix and since then I have been fine.

    The kicker of this story was that this occurred during my time in the army. In fact, when the problems with the appendix hit I was literally hours away from getting on a bus for a rotation at the National Training Center at Fort Irwin, California. Had my symptoms not appeared until after I was on the road, which was ran through Middle-of-nowhere-America, I would have been the poster boy for up a smelly creek without a paddle.

    Glad to hear you are doing better! My granddad had similar heart issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appendicitis can be very serious as you know first hand, it is a blessing for sure that they caught yours when they did rather than after you left, it's always good to be diverted from that trip up the smelly creek.

      Thank you sir, I am happy your serious situation turned out well.

      Delete
  12. Hi Jimmy, you did a great job of putting things into perspective. Neither my husband nor I have had a scare like this, but we have had too many family and friends who have. We realize we do not know what is around the corner. Life is precious and reading stories like yours makes us realize we cannot take things for granted. Thank you for telling us your story.

    I have tried to follow you by the way but for some reason I can't get through the process. I keep getting an error message. I am hoping it is a temporary glitch with my server/blogger maybe and it's just my turn as it has happened when I have tried to follow other blogs too. I will keep trying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Denise, I appreciate your kind words, I have enjoyed visiting your blog it appears that you and your husband are having an amazing trip.

      I am not sure what the problem could be with the follow button, I will look into it from my end, please try again because we are proud to have you join us.

      Delete

I am glad you stopped by, feel free to join in, tell me what you think, or just say Hi, thank you for commenting.