Tuesday, June 1, 2010

OK Here Is The Deal

Telemarketers calling on the phone at all hours it seems, just how do you deal with them? I know they have a job to do but it sure is fun to shut them down when they refuse to take no for an answer. Did you ever get the call offering to come out to your home and give you an estimate for replacement windows, I can’t count the times I have had the exact same call, on one occasion I waited for the girl to take a breath so I could get a word in and let her know I was not interested, she thanked me for my time and started up with how they were only in town for one more day and how I could not afford to pass up this opportunity:

Me: you are only in town for one more day and I really can’t afford to pass up this opportunity you say.

Telemarketer: Yes Sir only one more day and our representatives will be leaving town.

Me: Really!! And exactly where are you?

Telemarketer: I am in Phoenix and where are you?

Me: So if you don’t know where I am, exactly where are your reps at right now?

Telemarketer: Well they are in your town.

Me: How do you know that if you don’t know where I am?

Telemarketer: I know they are in your town that’s why I called you.

Me: If you don’t know where I am then how do you know it’s me?

Telemarketer: I can sell to anyone it doesn’t have to be you.

Me: Then why didn’t you call them then?

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

Now what if I had actually wanted windows? And I got the opportunity to ask her when she called back the next night not realizing she had already hung up on me the night before. After waiting for her to take a breath again I interrupted her with a simple question:

Me: How long will your reps be in Phoenix?

Telemarketer: Just one more day sir----funny you mentioned Phoenix that’s where I am.

Me: I knew that already, and I really want some windows.

Telemarketer: Really how many windows do you have in your house? And how did you know where I was.

Me: I must have talked to you before, and I have about fifteen windows in my house.

Telemarketer: So you need fifteen replacement windows---right?

Me: No I just need a couple added on the side of my garage where there are none now.

Telemarketer: We don’t do that we just replace windows.

Me: My windows work just fine I don’t want them replaced, but I want more, please bring me more, please, you can bring them yourself since you are in Phoenix.

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

Now that was rude to hang up on me twice, I actually like it when they hang up on me though it is so much more rewarding when they run out of things to say before I do and when you get the dial tone you know you have run them out of things to say. How about the one who offers to reduce the rate on your Visa, MasterCard, BankofWhatever Card, MickyMouseClub Card, you get the picture, no matter what you have they can make it better, after refusing to take no thank you for an answer my question for one I thought was easy but my request seemed unreasonable I suppose:

Me: OK since you seem to still be talking I have a question.

Telemarketer: Yes Sir and I have an answer we can greatly reduce the rate on any bankcard you hold by------

Me: Hey wait just a minute you haven’t heard my question yet but you are answering.

Telemarketer: That’s because I have the answer you want.

Me: OK here is the deal; I really want a credit card with low interest rates.

Telemarketer: We can do that, what credit card do you have.

Me: I don’t have one the rates were too high and I couldn’t pay them so they took them all away.

Telemarketer: But you need to have a card for me to help you.

Me: Yes I know, which one are you going to send me.

Telemarketer: We don’t do that we are not a bank.

Me: But you told me you had the answer I wanted, so I want you to send me a card, I have to pay off the other cards and your card would do that so please send me a card, Please!!

Telemarketer: Long period of silence followed by a dial tone.

If you are a telemarketer and talked to me then I am sorry I know you have a job to do but for goodness sake listen to people when they say No because if they say no then that means they don’t want your product, if you are a telemarketer and call during business hours and slow yourself down to a pace where you can be understood with a product I want or need then I just may say something like, “tell me a little about your product” if you continue to babble from the written speech in front of you while I am trying to speak then expect a little fun on my part at your expense or a dial tone depending on my mood, if you are going to treat people like they are stupid then expect them to act like they are, if you can take no for an answer then you can spend your time on people who just may want your product rather than wasting your time with people who will never buy from you anyway.


  1. That was excellent! I actually had a gal call me once and she's like, "I understand that you own a home at (such and such an address) and that you also own the windows?" She had to have been new at her job and probably nervous as hell but it was too funny. We tell them to send the info and to take us off their call list.

  2. I am soo glad I don't have that job! I love how you are so crafty with your responses!

    We get those calls all the time (Not window, yet), we get the credit card ones and insurance ones. I'm going to have to remember your response to sending me a card! The insurance company keeps calling for us to add roadside assistance to our plan. I told them once that if they was for real then they should be able to tell that I have done everything I can to keep my bill down to the minimum. They crack me up!

  3. IF I answer the phone, because I don't know it a telemarketer, I immediately say I'm not interested, thank you, click. We have two that are persistent, I just click to stop the ringing and click to disconnect, no words, period. You would think they would have gotten the message by now. If I want something, I make sure I'm the one doing the calling. I never give ANY information to someone calling me, only calls I initiate.

  4. Jimmy..this is the beauty of caller ID. No more telemarketers. Also, I have registered with the do not call registry. Even so, sometimes they sneak in those little devils. I am rude...to the point where tim has actually gotten angry with me. His point is that is their job and why am I so rude as to hang up on them. my response is always the same...they won't shut up long enough for me to be polite and tell them kindly I am not interested. Again..invest in Caller ID...it is the best defense against the telemarketer!!!

  5. I used to have fun with the telemarketers, but since I despise talking on the phone for any reason, I don't answer any call without checking caller ID.
    Even then, I just might be too lazy to pick it up.

  6. BRAVA Jimmy!

    You ROCK!

    OMG...you're so much nicer than me because I use to just hang up on them. I know that's rude, but I honestly don't care, because now they like to call after 10 pm and before 9 am.

    I'm with Susie...I know use caller ID.

    Have you ever tried to call your telephone provider with a question about your phone bill, and they end up keeping you on the phone for 20 mins, trying to SELL you something else?


    Great post, my friend!

    Enjoyed it!

  7. Jimmy,

    I barely know you at all- but we are going to be best friends. No I didn't type (BFF) LOL- (dang-I did type LOL though!) anyhoo--

    I do have some Glasses you may be interested in....they may have helped you FIX A FLAT!!!
    But they are only available for the next 3 minutes.....it doesn't matter which 3!

    That was awesome Buddy!

    Still LMBO!!! sorry--Smiling broadly.....


  8. I have had some fun with telemarketers before! I told one guy I was the babysitter and he proceeded to flirt with me for like 10 minutes. Too funny.

    Now we have caller ID and don't answer.

    Sean and I loved your responses to her lines!


  9. Hey MC

    "I understand that you own a home at (such and such an address) and that you also own the windows?"

    This is too good, I agree this one was new and didn't have much time under her belt to handle the job yet, just enough to get under your skin.

  10. Yes Heather that would be one job I wouldn't want either, life is too short to be working where all you do is tick people off, not much fun in my opinion.

    The insurance companies are just a scam in my opinion also.

  11. Ms A,

    I am with you that they are so persistant they don't even hear you anyway, you just can't talk to one who is not listening.

    Excellent point you made here: "I never give ANY information to someone calling me, only calls I initiate."

    Thank You we all need to remember this one.

  12. Hey Susie,

    The do not call registry is also a good idea, like you said sometimes they sneak through but the Caller ID is your best defense.

  13. Good Morning Joe,

    You can get a good laugh messing with them but it does get old, the fun part is getting the one who is not listening anyway so confused they hang up.

  14. Yes Sir Ron,

    The calls late at night were when my rude side came out also, I would ask them if they knew what time it was and most of the time the answer was not even close.

    I have been on the phone talking to the telephone provider and ended up being a sales call---I don't appreciate that either.

  15. Hello John,

    I did see those glasses but thought my three minutes had run out LOL---see I can slip a LOL in once in a while too :)

    Glad to have you with us John you are fitting right in.

  16. Hey Spot,

    I actually had one a couple days ago called and asked me what my phone number was, I said it's the one you just called, she said I have to verify the number so I know it's you, I then asked well who are you calling?

    Too funny about the flirt, I bet Sean loved that one Ha Ha

  17. I like to act a little rattle-brain when they call and then hang up mid-sentence. I have to get HOB to learn to say "Thank You" and hang up. Sounds like you had a bit of a good time with the little mouse dropped in your cage.

    Here's what I do when it's a recorded call and they want me to give information at the end so they can call me back. I wait for the beep and tell them how these kinds of calls are causing ruin to our society. I go all out and bring out some giant words and tell them that this form of de-personalization is killing America. It makes me feel better anyway!

  18. I had a "family film" company call me not long ago to try to sell me a film and when I told them all my kids were grown they proceeded to try to tell me I owed them money but could tell me how much or what film I supposedly ordered. weird.... Great post btw

  19. Fabulous, Jimmy!I wish I was as quick as you. Once when the salesman asked me if I was the woman of the house, I lied and said no(thinking I'd get him off the phone), and then he started drilling me about why I was there and did the woman of the house know I was there and was I with her husband. I finally had to tell him it was none of his business and I ended up having to hang up on him because he wouldn't give it up!

  20. Hey Betty,

    Thats the way to do it, confuse them into thinking they have the upper hand then close the door :)

  21. Thank You Peg,

    I wonder about some of these people who call, looks like a scam for money to me.

  22. Hey Suzicate,

    Sounds like he had your number there Ha Ha, too bad you didn't get it turned back on him---next time.

  23. Hysterical! I don't answer my phone when it rings. I let the answering machine pick up and if they leave a message and I want to talk to them then I pick up.

  24. Hey Cindy,

    I check the caller ID and don't answer the ones that I don't recognize unless I want to have a little fun :)


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