Friday, February 2, 2018

Just turn around

As I was growing up my Mom always said things like "You turn around and all of a sudden the weekend is over", "You turn around twice and it's a new year", and then one day she said, "Turn around twice and your kids are grown and you're alone." I always thought this was an exaggeration until all of a sudden I find myself a grandfather with five grown children, and no longer that young boy listening to words of wisdom from that dark haired young woman that I call Momma.

me as a toddler sitting on a bed in my mothers lap placing a straw hat onto my head
Momma holding me a couple of months before my 2nd birthday
On Flag Day a young woman who was no more than a girl at the time became my Momma. From that day on as she taught me how to do things right, how to respect everyone I met, and to be leery of those I didn't know. Momma always told me that on the day that I saw everyone in town flying their flags at the same time, that day was my birthday. "They are flying the flags for your birthday Jimmy." I have turned around twice and more flags than I can count have been flown since then.

As a young man I bought my first car, got my first real job and discovered that at least one girl really liked me, I officially had a high school sweetheart. "Turn around twice and you will be married and have kids."

I turned around and found myself halfway across the country, married and raising a young son of my own. The high school sweetheart was suddenly a distant memory living back in my hometown, and 1500 miles away the girl I married is jealous of someone she never met...this shouldn't be a sign of things to come. "Turn around twice and it will be over with"

I turned around twice and all of a sudden I am into my second marriage with five children. I have a great job, a wonderful wife, and can still run fast enough to keep up with the kids and sometimes even out run them. Life is full of pleasure and pain but the happy times outnumber the sad ones, I can't complain. "Turn around twice and all of your fun and games will be happy memories of your children."

I turned around and found myself a spokesman for many conditions. I have suffered and lived through, diabetes, strokes, heart disease, and mobility issues. I now find myself doing the exact same things that I used to give my Granddaddy a hard time for doing. Granddaddy has been gone three decades now.

Cindy and I have been married going on 21 years, and it seems only yesterday that she and I married and all the kids were young, the kids are all grown now. "Turn around twice and your babies are having babies."

I turned around and found myself a Grandfather, Benjamin calls me Papa, and three others have a life outside of mine, but there are some things in life that you can't change, focusing on the positives in life like the Grandson who loves you helps you accept facts that can't be changed, so don't dwell on negatives. "Turn around twice and the things that hurt you now will be a distant memory" and as Cindy's Mom always said, "This too will pass."

I turned around and found myself moving to California to assist Cindy's parents with their daily living activities and to keep her Mom from living in a nursing facility. It's been six years since Cindy's Mom passed away and her Dad is really struggling to keep on keeping on, and back home my Dad is doing the same.

We are living life as happily as we can, we don't know what the next chapter in our lives will be, we only know that we have to make the best of where we are now. "Turn around twice and you are closer to the end of the trail than the beginning."

Me and my Mom standing arm in arm at the airport
Me hugging Momma before she flew home last time she visited.
Now my words of wisdom come from a white haired beauty that I still call Momma, she tells me things like "You turn around twice and the grandbabies are having babies"

Life is a blessing, good things happen and so do bad things, but the good always outnumber the bad. Celebrate and enjoy the life you have right now, because fretting about what could have been will only make the life you have left pass you by quicker.

Focus on the positives, and remember the good times you have had, look forward to any little pleasure that you have coming up, whether it as complicated as a trip around the world, or as simple as a day sitting on the porch enjoying the view. Your life is worth something and if you have any doubts, just turn around and look back on everyone you have ever come into contact with, you are important to each one of them in one way or another, you have had an impact on everyone you know in your own special way.

So far my life has gone by as quickly as if I have just turned around. It's like one minute I was that little guy learning what life is all about, and then I turned around and suddenly I am looking back wondering how it went so fast.

Are there any words of wisdom that you remember from your parents?

46 comments:

  1. Kind of the same thing, My mom always said, "Life's too short." Pretty much covered every situation. Only so many turn around's left, and yet if I could turn in the opposite direction, I'm not sure I would.

    Nice post!

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    1. I have to agree with you Joe, even if I did have the chance to go back I have a feeling that nothing would be different because I would do it all the same.

      Your Mom's saying does kind of cover it all.

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  2. I don't remember them talking about getting old and how quickly that happens, but my parents have been gone for many years.

    Have a fabulous day, Jimmy. ☺

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    1. It's strange that so many years can pass so quickly after losing a loved one like your parents, seems like yesterday that Cindy's mom was right here also.

      Have a wonderful day my friend.

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  3. The only thing my mother said (many times) was, "In a hundred years no one will know the difference." It pertained from needing money to cleaning the house.
    Yes, it all goes by too quickly.

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    1. Sharon I have heard that said a few times and your mom was right in a hundred years it won't matter.

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  4. Mom always said, "you'll be amazed at how much more quickly time goes by as you get older." Man was she right.

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    1. Delores your Mom was 100% right, I too have noticed how much quicker time seems to move the older I get.

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  5. I can soooooooooooooooo relate. Thanks for this. :)

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  6. What a sweet/melancholy post, Jimmy. I must confess the tears fell here. And you and your mother are both right - turn around twice and time is gone, just like that. Do you get a chance to visit your parents seeing as they live some distance away? You have your mom's smile!

    My dad's favourite saying was "oh, well, it'll all come out in the wash." Whenever something happened that he didn't agree with he was too mild-mannered to say much and that was his final word on the matter, meaning everything would be found out in the end :)

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    1. Jenny I don't get to visit my parents as often as I would like to, they are on the east coast and I on the west which makes it very difficult...Thank you so much having her smile is definitely a huge compliment to me.

      "It'll all come out in the wash", I like that and it does make perfect sense for your Dad to use this term.

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  7. Who knew I was celebrating flag day all wrong,

    well not really, I can't recall every doing anything for Flag Day.

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    1. Now you have a perfect reason to celebrate Flag Day Adam, or else just smile because I suggested it. Ha ha.

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  8. You sure look like your mom! Great blog topic and oh, so true. Time flies by too quickly to older we get.

    My dad used to say, "A man going by in an airplane will never know the difference." I find myself saying that phrase from time to time. My mom had a lot of sayings but I can't remember any now.

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    1. Thank you Jean, I really appreciate that compliment. Another great phrase spoken by one of our parents,"A man going by in an airplane will never know the difference." Can definitely be referenced to our lives as we get older, I am sure that you remember statements made by your mom from time to time as you are doing things.

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  9. You DO look like your mom!

    My mom was my biggest cheerleader. If somebody did something that I felt wronged me, Mom would say, "Consider the source." When I did, it didn't seem so bad.

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    1. Thank you Val, I know that you were close to your mom, and for her to tell you to "Consider the source" shows how wise she actually was. If we all would just consider the source of some of our problems we could see how minor some of them really are.

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  10. This is a lovely post, Jimmy. Reminds me of the song, "Sunrise, Sunset." (Makes me cry every time I hear it.)

    It's hard for me to believe how many years have passed since my mother died, and equally as hard to accept that I'm already older than she lived to be. How can that possibly be? How can my hubby and I have 13 grandchildren who are all growing up faster than the weeds grow in our garden. (That's FAST!) The old world just keeps on spinning, and it's long been my assessment that we old farts are cheated out of time. Surely, our days aren't given the full 24 hours...

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    1. Susan, isn't it amazing how quick the kids grow, just like you described, faster than weeds in the garden. I have never thought of time in this manner but you saying "our days aren't given the full 24 hours" hits the nail on the head.

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  11. Time certainly does pass "in the blink of an eye" like we say out here. I remember when my first grand daughter was born, it seems like just last month, now she is almost 24 and heading off to another city to begin the study course of her dreams. And my own childhood, which seemed so long at the time, has been gone for several decades now. Where have those years gone?
    Your mum has a lovely face and you look just like her. Twin smiles.

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    1. It does seem that our children and grandchildren grow up in the blink of an eye, like you said our youth seemed to be so long but yet it moved also in the blink of an eye when we look back on it now.

      Thank you River, I'm honored for you to say this.

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  12. Oooh Jimmy, I loved this. Everything you said was SO right ... your mother spoke words of wisdom. as do you. Don't let this post disappear.... frame it for the future and let those babies grow up to know what a great bloke you are.

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    1. Valerie, Thank you my dear friend, I am so happy and humbled at your words.

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  13. It's so nice to see your photos and what a cute little boy your momma had on her hands. I always say that I'd love just one more day of my 3 kids being little again. I would just hug them the whole day.

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    1. Wouldn't one more day with the kids when they were little be a blessing? I could go for that too, what a nice thought this is Bijoux.

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  14. You have to be dizzy from all that turning:-) I too have turned a lot and have no regrets, just lots of wonderful family. My mom's greatest words to me were "there is always hope".

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    1. Annie, your mom is right "there is always hope", we all seem to forget this at times, Thank you for this much needed reminder.

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  15. If we could harness life's speed into a rocket, exploring outer space would be very doable. Yes life has flown by and continues to pick up speed but the good thing is the memories remain intact and can be relived anytime.

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    1. Yes exploring space at the speed of life would be very realistic. You make a very good point in that our memories remain intact as we age, as long as we have our memories we can always look back fondly on our lifetime.

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  16. What perfectly perfect words of wisdom Jimmy! Hugs...and happy Saturday!

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    1. Thank you RO, and a wonderful weekend to you my friend!

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  17. What a good writer you are. This post brought tears to my eyes. I will never forget the "turn around." Thank you for sharing this wisdom.

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    1. Thank you Inger, I am humbled by your kind comments, Thank you my friend.

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  18. So true, so true!

    My oldest son (the one who lives in Greenville, SC) was born on Flag Day, too!

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    1. Wow not only do he and I have Greenville in common we share a birthday too, this is really neat to hear.

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  19. I actually dont remember many words of wisdom but my mom would always stay calm when I was upset and would say “Just pray about it”.
    However, she did give me a lot of threats. Like “I hope one day you have chidren just like you”. Or “if you do that , youll be sorry”. I heard that a lot. Lol.
    Lisa

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    1. “Just pray about it” is really great advice Lisa but don't you suppose some of those threats could be considered words of wisdom too, because how many times have we used those same words. Lol.

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  20. I don't remember any words of wisdom from my mum, in fact I think I've always been the one giving her words of wisdom. God there's something wrong in that. Having just had another birthday I'm all too aware of how quickly life is rushing by and it scares me but also reminds me to make the most of it.

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    1. I agree with you Joey, it's all about making the most of your life, even though life seems to be flying by we have to enjoy the time we do have. Wise words my friend, Thank you.

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  21. You have a sweet mom, Jimmy. I was just having a similar conversation about how time flies, and kids are all grown up. Cherish the memories.

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    1. Thank you Abby, Yes Cherish the memories I agree with you wholeheartedly.

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  22. thank you for sharing that treasuring photo of your childhood with your lovely mom who was beautiful lady (still she is) and you were so cute!( still you are)

    LOVED the Cindy's charming smiling photo at you heading bar!!!
    she looks incredibly sweet and happy!

    your writing in this post warmed my heart with so many memories and emotions
    either my grandparents passed away almost 3 decades ago

    your mom has very wise and golden heart who looks at life with amazing positive way which makes her such very true thing
    either i realize that train of life is running super fast and scene outside the window are passing swiftly asi cannot concentrate what is going one
    living in moment is only solution and making beautiful memories which lead you towards PEACEFUL BREATHING matters most to me

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    1. Thank you Baili, I am honored by all of your kind words, you too are a wise and warm hearted mother to your family.

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  23. All of a sudden I'm feeling kinda old...
    That was a great and touching post Jimmy. You really do have a knack for that. Time has always gone kind of slow for me, but the last couple of years, have zoomed by. Unfortunately, there absolutely zero words of wisdom from my mom. Well there is one thing. When we were all young my mom told us that if she ever caught us, or heard about us using any racial or sexual orientation slurs against, or about anybody, even people we didn't know she would beat the s**t out of us. We believed her.

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    1. Thank you Sir, I am honored by your kind comments and want you to know that I appreciate you Pat.

      As for your Mom I think that I would have believed her too...

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